Fairy tales are full of it
by gingerweasleby
Summary: Cassie Peters Grew up without a Mother, had a mix of half siblings and was thrown head first, all alone, into the magical world. After 6 years at Hogwarts, life hadn't turned out to be the fairytale she expected, she believes it's too late to change that, but her best friend thinks differently.
1. everybody's got their own little life

"Oi Cassie watch your language! You weren't brought up to speak like that."

"You'd know all about bringing me up wouldn't you mam."

I left that shocked expression on her face as I span on my heel and marched towards the fireplace.

"High-field House!"

Throwing down the vibrant green powder, the room whirled around me before the familiar screams of my paternal family echoed through the air.

"Calm down Malachi, you can't stop her from seeing Helen, she's her mother." The harshness of my step-mother's northern accent next to the soft Irish accent I'm used to, was sharp on my ears as my feet finally stumbled from the fireplace of our kitchen.

"Ah" my father exclaimed "Cas dear are you alright?"

"No I'm half left" I remarked motioning to the left side of my body.

My dad let out a soft chuckle next to the growl of Ellen; she was never a fan of the sarcastic manner I inherited from my mother.

"Cheer up Ells." I added before leaving the room a patronising smile glinting on my face as my eyes caught Ellen's.

I didn't dislike Ellen, of course not, she was ten times the mother over mine, and we just clashed now and then, disagreed on certain matters.

I class myself as an only child because; in my eyes half siblings don't count. If they did I'd have 3 brothers and a sister, and I was happier alone, even more so when they're banging on my bedroom door. Usually I loved my room, I had the attic room, secluded from the mad world of my family, plenty floor space, 6 windows, it was bliss to me, and I was surrounded by the natural world. But when one of the 3 demons of this house ventured up the stairs and stood at my door the peace I longed for vanished.

"Cassie... Open your door Cas." The whining drawl of my youngest sibling Phoebe penetrated the wooden barrier between us.

"What do you want Phoebe?" I gritted my teeth in hope my irritation was obvious. Apparently not.

"I want you to do my hair pretty again, daddy's taking me to Diagon Alley to get my wand today." A shudder ran down my spine at the thought that now even more of my 'family' would be in the same building as me for a larger percent of the year.

"Urgh" that was my best attempt at arguing against her, seriously?

My door swung open the second my fingers nudged the lock, and in fell the fragile blonde haired youngster of us Peters. Although Phoebe was 6 years younger than me, she was still almost taller and better built than me; I was skin and bone in comparison to this side of my family. My size genes were no doubt about it, from my 5ft, skinny mother.

"Ew, what's that smell Cassie, it smells like smoke!" She accused.

"Yeah... I've been burning candles" I lied, subtly flicking the cigarette butt off the windowsill.

"You and your wacky hippie stuff, eh?"

"Come on let's do your hair then, what do you want me to do?"

"Cas! You got all your books?"

"Cassie! Daddy's talking to you!"

My only response to them was a thumbs up over the shoulder.

"So, Cassie, how've you been?" The sleaziness was dripping from this guy's voice... Who was it? Mark? Mike? Mick?

"Hmmm, good I guess." I murmured nibbling my lip... I was flirting. God Cassie he isn't even good looking. Standards. Standards! "Well, I've gotta go, guess I'll see you on the train next week?" As I turned away I mentally slapped myself, Merlin I need a boyfriend.

Looking down at my magenta painted nails, which were placed delicately on the top of my stack of NEWT books, I began to mentally name any possible candidates for my proposition of 'well needed boyfriend'

"Yeah, Cas likely. Who the fuck'd want to be with Gryffindor's bitchy, blonde, fuck around." I scoffed to myself as I pushed on the door to the Leaky Cauldron.

"I wouldn't mind"

My head spun round faster than my neck had anticipated as a searing pain shot up my spine causing me to wince.

"Eager to see me Cassandra?" His husky, mocking voice beat against my ears.

"Oh Frederic Weasley how lovely to see you!" I exclaimed, my arms throwing themselves up, as if inviting him to hug me. As he did, with an honest smile upon his face, I swiftly pulled my arms back down and shoved hard against his chest.

"We're still not friends Fred!" I spat coldly, biting at his name bitterly.

"Oh come on Cas..." His voice was practically begging... All that was needed were ripped clothes and for him to be on his knees and Phoebe would be throwing money at him nearly in tears. But I wasn't a fool, and I certainly wasn't a soft arse like my "sister"

"No." With a threatening glint in my eye I stared him down until pushing my weight on the door and stumbling into the unpleasant, dingy looking pub.

"'Ello Cassie, what can I do for ya today love?" I was quite a regular customer here, if I had nothing to do I was happy enough to come for a drink and a chat with Tom, the bar tender, he was a friend of my dad's but swore to secrecy on my continual visits here, he didn't want to "lose a good customer" his words not mine, I'd call myself more "self loathing, annoying wanker of a customer"

"Give me a new life?" I whined slamming my forehead against the coaster filled bar.

"Aye, I meant a drink love. Can't help much with the new life situation. Don't have that kinda magic you see." He chuckled sending me his toothless grin. "'M'always 'ere if you need a chat though Cas."

"Firewhiskey it is then."

"2 o'clock in the afternoon, someone's having a bad day?"

"Aye, my family are driving me up the wall, I could move out but I don't have the money, do I?" And so the sulking began.

It was half 10 by the time I floo'd home, it would of been earlier but, Tom being Tom, made sure I sobered up before trying to floo. Thankfully the house was empty when I arrived home, only a note left in place of my absent family.

_'Cassie,_

_We've gone to stay with your auntie for a few days; you weren't home so I figured you were happy staying here. There's food in the fridge, and Ron and Hermione said you're welcome there anytime._

_We'll be back in 5 days._

_Love you lots sweetheart Dad xx_'

"Ron and Hermione can go fuck themselves!" I mumbled in anger, screwing up the scrap parchment. My dad worked with Ron Weasley, they were Aurors together, patrol partners most of the time, so obviously, my dad was up the 1/3 of the golden trio's arse. They irritated me to no end, well honestly Ron was tolerable he had a bad temper similar to me and spoke fluently in sarcasm, I've also played a fair few games of chess against him, sadly only winning once though. But his wife Hermione. No. Just no. It was fact we would never get on, she was pristine and proper, I was academic yes, but tardiness was never my forte and I was happy being unpunctual and living my life how I did. "The indie kid" not "the brightest witch of her age"

"Nice to know your opinion of us Cassie." Shit.

My eyes shot open wide, my face plastered in pure shock as I peered over to the couch. And there sat none other than Ron Weasley. I was, however, relieved to notice the soft shaking of his shoulders and a distinct smirk on his lips.

"I guess that answers my next question" he chuckled watching my puzzled expression carefully "I came to ask if you'd like to stay with us for the rest of the week?"

"No." I answered sharply "I mean no thank you. I'm happier on my own."

"Always were an independent soul, weren't you Cas?"

"Just not a fan of your wife." I shrugged in honesty. I knew Ron wouldn't take offence I had already, many times, expressed my dislike for Hermione. And still to the day I am yet to be stood corrected.

"Fine by me then, but 'Mione's going on a business trip in 2 days for a week so you're welcome to stay for the last 3 days?" Now that was slightly tempting. I got on well with Rose, she was the year below me, but shared a similar outlook on life to me, fuck everyone and everything. The only difference was that rule didn't apply to her school work, ever. And Hugo wasn't to irritating, he was best friends with Aidan the middle child of the boys in my family, older than Robbie but younger than Nathan, Nathan was older than me by three years and didn't live with us anymore, much to my disappointment he was the only one I could get along with.

"I'll think about it" I hummed my face still full of though as I weighed out the pros and cons.

"See you in two days then Cassie." Ron winked before spinning on the spot and with an echoing crack dissaperated.

The minute Ron left the room; I flicked my wand towards the stereo in the wall, flicking through CDs until I came across my summer mix tape, complete with Peace, Palma Violets and The Drums. My three favourite bands at the time, all muggle and Id been to see them on a few occasions in concert, something my Dad wasn't too happy about, muggle concerts were filled with alcohol, drugs and rapists according to him, which was no place for a young girl like me, oh if only he knew what my life actually consisted of whilst he wasn't around.  
If I could cook, being home alone would be perfection for me, no prying eyes, I could be totally myself, I wouldn't throw a party inviting all my friends around. I had none; well not really, I had mere acquaintances and my dorm mate, only two of which I could stand to be in a room with when not necessary Dom Weasley and Isabella Prince. The other two were complete imbeciles; I doubt they could even spell their own names. Rita Haughton and Amanda Thorp. I bet you're wondering why I wouldn't invite Dom or Isabella round, well I would but if I threw a party I'm certain Dom would insist on inviting her whole family, which in honesty is a bit too much for me. But as I said before I can't cook and I wasn't willing to go to Ron's whilst Hermione was there so I took the next best option.  
"Hello?"  
"Hey Dom, Wha'cha doing?"  
"Painting my nails, why?"  
"I'm home alone..."  
"You want me to come cook you food?"  
"You know me so well!"  
"I never said yes I'm n-"  
"Thank you Dom!" I exclaimed slamming the phone down before she had chance to reply.  
Grabbing the packet of cigarettes I had bought from Martin? No, Mark? Mike? Oh I don't know, in Diagon Alley, I sprinted up the staircase flicking my wand once more to turn up the music so it could be heard in my room. Slamming the door behind me I slid down it and landed on the floor with a thud. Lighting the much needed cigarette, that was now balancing between my index and middle finger, I let out a sigh. The first drag was always the best; it immediately relieved me from the tension of my day leaving me with a smile on my face. Finally. Even now I was home alone I still chose to stay in my room. It was homelier than all of the rooms in this house put together, it represented me. I had band posters filling the slanted attic walls, a double bed in one corner complete with the patchwork quilt that I decided to make when I went through my crafty stage in life around the age of 13, in the top right hand corner there was a large stack of canvases I had painted and sketched on but had nowhere to hang to top it all off, my room was filled with fairy lights and an array of scented candles.  
"CASSIE!" The scream interrupted my daydream "Cassandra Peters Open your bloody door!" oh joys Dom was here. Haha.  
I jogged down the stairs before teasingly standing in view of the window for a good ten seconds before opening the door.  
"Wanker." She stated matter-of-factly before barging past me. "I thought you quit?"  
"Nahhhh... want one?" I offered her the cigarette packet.  
"Ew, no I don't have a dirty habit like you."  
"Yeah you do. You're Paddy Finnegan's fuck buddy." The colour in her face drained automatically as she stared at me "oh, come on, you thought I wouldn't find out?"  
"I-I-I-I'm not."  
"Real convincing that was Dom" I laughed kicking the door shut behind me. "Now make me food wench!"  
"You're so incapable." But she didn't argue she sauntered into the kitchen and began to pull out a number of pans and other appliances I wasn't aware we owned. "So are you planning on sitting with me this year at meals?"  
"You know I'm not Dom."  
"But you look like you have no friends when you sit on your own." Her voice sounded almost sympathetic, it was sickening.  
"I don't have any friends."  
"You have me and Izzy." She smiled her beautiful smile. Stupid part vela.  
"Whoop-de-fucking-do my dorm mates. My only friends." Sarcasm dripping from my lips.  
"Come on can't you just get along with Freddie and James and sit with us." She pleaded. "I know they're twats, but you won't tell anyone what they did for you to not like them."  
"They didn't do anything. I just don't like them. Okay?" I forced, hoping she'd drop the subject I was unsuccessful.  
"I mean, you and James'd get on great. You both smoke, you both like the same music, hell his bedroom competes with yours when it comes to random shit." She chuckled "And Freddie, he has the same sarcasm as you, and you're both slags. Wait! Did you have sex with them? Is that why you don't like them?"  
"Dom, seriously?" I asked in disgust. "I decided I didn't like them in my 2nd week at Hogwarts you sick bastard."  
She merely laughed in response. The main problem with Dom is she has an extremely infectious laugh and within minutes we were both keeled over laughing at... well, at nothing.  
"I'm gonna make sure you have a good year this year Cassie. I promise."


	2. A Deal With The Enemy

It's pretty crap, I need to get into the story.. this sets it up a bit slightly.. it will get interesting and longer and all that shizz

"I like to dance all night, summons the day

but that's how I play, yeah that's how I play,

I said who are you? Don't matter who you are

so we dance all night and dance all day."

Headphones on, world out. That's my motto when James Potter was around.

After Dom had presented me with a bowl of pasta, she more or less forced me to go to Diagon Alley with her, much to my dismay. I had already been once, and there was nothing else I needed for next week, so I saw no reason for my presence, however it seemed she merely wanted to be cruel. We hadn't gone on our little trip for school supplies like she had told me; we had gone in fact to meet up with the minority of her family that I didn't like. All in all she had a lovely family; I got on with most of them, well the ones I had met, they were all polite, and had a certain charm about them that instantly made you like them. That was however only true if you missed out James and Fred from the family. They collectively were not polite and easy to get on with at all, nor did they have a likable charm, they had a certain arrogant charm about them that certainly wasn't likable. And they were also the 2 people sat across from me and Dom in The Leaky Cauldron. I could see lips moving, and now and then a glance from one of them, usually accompanied by a smirk on James' behalf. But I was happy listening to kings of Leon instead of their voices. That was until the glances increased too much for my liking and it was obvious they were talking about me, so pausing my music I began to listen.

"Why exactly does she hate us Dom?" ugh, Freddie's voice was annoying me already.

"Who knows? She won't tell me, I don't think she has a reason, she just... doesn't like you."

"We're too hot for her." WARNING! James' arrogance has arrived WARNING! I scoffed unintentionally and all eyes were immediately trained on me. Oops.

"Cassie?" I ignored Dom pretending I couldn't hear her. "Cas, can you hear us?"

I for some reason decided now would be a good time to start humming, I was wrong. James, the twat, reached over the table and pulled my headphones straight off my head.

"Oi you wanker! Give them back!" he didn't listen though, instead decided to put them on.

"Nope, she could hear us." I hate him. I really do. But glancing down at my phone, which had headphones, of which James Potter was wearing, connected to them, a light bulb turned on. Subtly turning the volume up, before scrolling through to find some form of heavy music, I tapped play on a Blink182 song, and watched James' face.

Oh it was priceless, if only I had a camera; I would have framed that moment on my wall and treasured it for the rest of my life.

He let out an audible yell, catching the attention of most of the customers, and grappled at the headphones trying to pull them off his head, all the while I was in hysterics. Trying to calm myself to a point of being able to breathe was proving difficult.

"You'd think I'd hate you, not the other way around." He said with a scowl once he'd managed to tackle the music away from his ears. I shot him a smile in response, I refused to correct him. I didn't hate James and Fred, i just didn't like them. Hate is a strong word, I'm still yet to meet someone I hate.

There was an awkwardness hanging in the air, and it was beginning to irritate me, I'm not an awkward, shy kind of girl, therefore awkward situation seemingly bug me.

"Drink anyone?" I asked breaking the ice as I stood from the rather uncomfortable stool I had been sat on previously. At first I was met by strange looks from all, and began to wonder if I had something on my face.

"Yeah sure, Fire whiskey please" Freddie finally answered, much to my surprise, I honestly thought Dom would of said something by now, but glancing towards her I noticed her attention was elsewhere, and following her gaze I couldn't help but snort out an uncontrollable laugh. Her eyes were, quite obviously, focussed upon that of Mr. Patrick Finnegan. This very attractive gesture from me, caught the attention of both James and Fred who instinctively followed my gaze, but the amused look I had expected to see was that of a more puzzled look over anything. Clearly they didn't know about Sweet little Dom's love life. I guess that was a good thing on both Paddy and Dom's behalf I highly doubt Paddy would be physically able if they had. So being the amazing friend I am I covered her tracks.

"She has a crush on him" I whispered secretively.

"Ahem! Dom!" no reply

"DOM!" Nothing.

"Dominique Weasley!" I yelled down her ear.

"Your attention was occupied I see?" I teased her winking as her face flushed and she began to sink down in her seat.

We didn't stay at The Leakey Cauldron much longer, after Dom had conversed with Paddy and James and Fred had non-so-subtly flirted with the very few attractive witches this pub had to offer, all whilst I had sat on a bar stool complaining to Tom of my cruel friend, we- to my disappointment all of us- ended up at my house. But I had left them downstairs, deciding I had good enough reason to be pissed at Dom, I went up to my room and began to paint listening to The Smiths to add to my sombre mood as well as to drown out the laughter from the three others who were enjoying my house. I often resorted to painting or sketching when I was in a bad mood, my large collection of canvases suggests my usual mood, and usually I did portraits, as I was on this occasion but I had already drawn all I would class as friends or family. And so I found myself sketching the jaw-line of James Potter, what had drove me to do this I'll never know, but the next 4 hours I had of peace whilst I was concentrating on nothing but the brush in my hand and the canvas in front of me, rid me of any ill-thoughts of James or anything for that matter. The house had become seemingly silent from what I could tell, at the pause between songs I no longer heard the murmur of laughter, therefore came to the conclusion that they had left, which I was grateful of, having those three particular persons within my humble abode was more than unnerving. With a lesser chance of being seen I decided to change into my pyjamas which merely consisted of a Chudley Cannons jersey, before continuing with my portrait that after 4 hours still only had an eye, a face shape, a few tufts of hair and the start of a plaid shirt.

"What you drawing there Cas?" my music had still been on full volume so the sound of a voice behind me made me jump all the while dragging my brush across the canvas leaving an attractive black streak across the painted chest of the owner of the husky voice behind me.

"You wanker" I sighed turning to face James. "Why'd you do that? It's ruined now."

"It's not ruined, at least you didn't draw across their face" he shrugged, and I don't know what motivated me to do it, but I found myself lunging forward paintbrush at the ready to slash a line across his non-painted face.

"Now their face does." I smirked leaning back and crossing my arms in victory.

"You're drawing me?" He honestly looked astonished at the prospect. "I didn't even know you could draw, wait, why would you draw me, you hate me?"

"I've already drawn everyone I can tolerate." I shrugged motioning towards the pile of canvases in the corner.

"Can I look at them?" He asked his voice was soft, none of the usual arrogance was evident. It was nicer, he sounded different, I liked different.

"Sure" my voice was expressionless as I turned back to the newly started painting. "Actually while your here let me look at your face." He looked unsure to begin with but didn't object when I pulled his face down closer to mine.

"Shit."

"What?"

"I've made you look too handsome." I joked, slapping his cheek a smirk on my face as I stifled a chuckle.

"You're mean Cassie Peters, very mean."

"Why am I mean, Jamesy wamesy? Does iccle James not like mean people?" I mocked.

"See, mean." He smiled "why don't you like me?"

"Why are you still in my house?"

"Dom and Freddie fell asleep."

"The bastards." I muttered. Dipping my brush in more paint.

"Now answer my question."

"I guess, you gave me the wrong first impression." I lied, I could feel my cheeks reddening.

"You're a terrible liar." He chuckled "let's make a deal."

"I'm making no promises!" I cut in before he could carry on.

"You tell me why you don't like me before the first Hogsmead trip, or you have to go with me as my date." He stated.

"But that works out good for you in both ways" I whined at the unfairness of his deal. "If I do tell you you have to do my transfiguration homework for a month. What? It's the only subject you're better than me at!" I added at his puzzled look.

"Deal!"

"Deal!"

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Review! review! review!


	3. Bad Habits

**Hey guys I'm trying to throw a few chapters up so people actually read this... not that I can blame them if they don't but hey ho enjoy?  
Disclaimer - All belongs to J.K. and anything else mentioned.**

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Nothing much happened for the remainder of the summer, I decided against going to stay with Ron, I was happy on my own and quite frankly I spent the majority of my time debating whether telling James why I hate him or going on a date with him was worse. Apart from that, I had eventually finished that portrait of James I had started on the dreaded day that he somehow ended up in my house, for it to inevitably be thrown on top of the ever growing pile of pictures. September 1st had crept up on me quicker than I had expected, in fact I had totally forgotten about it until I checked my calendar on August 31st so in a mad panic, I had thrown my belongings into my trunk leaving them in disarray. My Dad didn't come home that night, nor was he here when I woke up the next morning; I figured I would see him on the platform if anywhere. After a mad search around the house I managed to capture and cage Pavan my black cat-A witch with a black cat original, I know-before finally apperating to an alley near Kings Cross my luggage loosely in my grip.

The minute I passed through the wall between platform 9 and 10 the noise increased dramatically, the sound of rushing children and worried parents echoed around.

"Daddy, look it's Cassie!" the squeal of Phoebe Peters hit me like a brick wall, my lips automatically pursed into a straight line across my face and my nostrils flared as I tried to walk in the opposite direction only to be met by a brick wall. "Cas over here!" I had to face them I guess.

"Hi love." My Dad's voice was laced with fake compassion, it sickened me. "Have you managed to get a job yet?"

"I've already told you this Malachi." I sighed "no one will hire me; I'm in Hogwarts for 80% of the year. I'll get one when I leave school. So no, I doubt I'll be moving out on my 18th birthday." I had come to the conclusion that it was pointless calling him my dad anymore, he never acted like one. My 18th birthday was only 3 weeks away, September 21st.

"I told you on your 17th that I'll give you a year." He retorted through gritted teeth.

"I'll live on the streets shall I, would you be happier then?" I asked raising my voice so people noticed, if I didn't he would most likely admit that he would indeed be happier.

"No. That's not what I want; I just want you to have a job." The bitterness was still showing through the forced smile that he had on his face.

"See you at Christmas Daddy dearest." I smiled sarcastically before boarding the ready waiting, crimson train.

It was more that relieving to find an empty compartment, I had left my trunk and that God-awful cat in the luggage room at the back of the train, and now had the well deserved company of myself. Lying back on the seat I rested my booted feet against the window and put on my much wanted headphones falling into a daze of Ben Howard's beautiful voice.

"Bless her she's fallen asleep." A soft voice began to faze into my ears.

"Why does she need blessing exactly?" This voice was much harsher than the first.

"Because she looks cute. Don't you think she looks cute James?"

"S'pose"

"I don't see the cuteness, she hates us." The harsh voice was back again. This was when realisation kicked in. I knew those voices; it was Dom, Freddie and James. Urgh. What were they doing in my lone compartment?

"I don't hate you." I murmured my lips barely parting and my eyes remaining sealed. A small gasp and the sound of shuffling gave me the impression that they hadn't expected a reply from me.

"Good afternoon sleeping beauty." Dom chuckled.

"Well hello there Cinderella" I smirked as I brought my feet down from the window and sat up facing the 3 beings who had invaded my space. "Why are you in my compartment? I was happy on my own." I pouted.

"You're a loner." Fred chirped up, sitting more upright in his seat for a second before being pushed back down by the daggers I sent his way.

"What Freddie meant to say was; you looked lonely so we decided to sit with you." James corrected. He had a soothing husky voice, the kind you'd expect some hunky American hero to posses.

"I was asleep, how in Merlin's name did I look lonely?"

"What they both meant to say was; James has a crush on you and wanted to watch you sleep." Dom winked sending a cheeky smile in my direction whilst I attempted unsuccessfully to stifle a laugh. Dom has had this theory since 3rd year, when we became friends, that James fancies me, which frankly is utter bullshit but I let her have her fun. James began to choke on his pumpkin pasty at this statement, which all in all didn't help my current state of laughter.

To my dismay the conversation for the rest of the journey flowed quite well, between all of us, not just Dom and I. I was softening to these guys after 6 years of hatred, what was wrong with me? Before long the train began to slow to a steady halt at Hogsmead station.

"Shit!" I exclaimed. "I told Phoebe I'd meet her on the platform." I continued as I jumped to my feet and fled from the compartment. Once I was on the platform I searched for the expected fragile, lost, blonde haired first year. So I was pleasantly surprised to find a chipper, blonde haired first year surrounded by a group of other first years. She's popular? Already? Great my youngest sibling is more loved than I am here, and she's not even been here a day.

Turning to head for the carriages, I walked square into the owner of a very firm chest. Not that my cheek was admiring their physique or anything.

"Steady there, Cas." The rumble of their chuckled moved my face as it was still leaning against their chest. At the sound of the voice my eyes closed momentarily as I sighed. I needed to stop these encounters with James Potter or this year's going to be painfully slow.

"Move please." I ordered more than asked as I moved away from his firm, toned chest. Stop admiring him Cassie. When he didn't, I looked up to his face. "I'm hungry. Move."

"You can share a carriage with me Cas, and we can have a chat about your side of our deal." A crooked smile balancing on his lips.

"I'd rather not." I started.

"It wasn't a question." With that his hand encircled my upper-arm and he began to stride towards the carriages. His footsteps were equal to two of mine making it difficult for me to keep up and due to his grip on my arm I had no choice to fall behind.

"Slow down." I moaned "and is it really necessary for you to drag me by the arm?" He dropped his grip from my arm only to regain it on my hand, his fingers looping between mine. Ew. We look like a bloody couple. He finally hauled himself onto an empty carriage pulling a stumbling me with him. Once I was sat directly across from him, he began.

"So Cassie, anything to explain?" He asked hinting subtly at the subject we both knew he was referring to.

"Nope, dare say I do." I smiled sweetly.

"So nothing abou- hey, this carriage is full move on!" He motioned towards the carriage behind us as the huddle of younger students attempted to board our "full" carriage. "Nothing about why you hate me?" He finished.

"Let me think." I paused. "No."

"You really want to go on a date with me?" He gushed sarcastically "you could've just asked Cassie."

"Don't flatter yourself Potter"

"Oh shit, second name basis." Crinkling his eyebrows and biting his lip, unsuccessful in hiding his smile.

"Sarcasm's my thing." I deadpanned.

"Lighten up honey-bunch; you're in a carriage, all alone, with none other than James Sirius Potter. What more could you want?"

"A gun to shoot myself with."

"We both know you don't hate me that much."

"I. Don't. Hate. You."

"So you keep saying, I don't understand?" He questioned.

"I just dislike you." I said calmly. "Hate's a strong feeling; I wouldn't waste it on you."

"I'm honoured Cas, honestly." He mocked.

"Cool, anything else you have to say? Or can I escape hell and sit in silence?"

"Erm..." He paused looking like he was thinking hard "oh, who's Phoebe?"

"Half sister."

"Never knew you had any siblings." He shrugged.

"I don't."

"You just-?" He pointed in multiple directions as if to make up for his lack of words.

"Half. I have four half siblings."

"They can't be Gryffies like us, or I would have known."

"Ravenclaw, I'm hoping all of them we'll find out in about 20 minutes."

"Guessing you don't get the Gryffindor from your mutual parent?"

"Neither, my dad was a Ravenclaw, and my... My-" I literally spat the next word "mother was Slytherin." James honestly looked surprised at that fact.

"That explains the brains and the bitchiness" he chucked

"But that makes you an even better Gryffies. You ready for tough training this year?"

"Aye, we better win the cup again this year I want a clean sweep, of wins not the broom." I smiled at my muddle of meanings.

"Good, as captain I'll make sure you do." He stated proudly puffing his chest out ever so slightly. It didn't surprise me, it was between me and James for captain and as I hadn't received it, I figured it was him. I was happy about that, the one thing I admired James for was his ambition in Quiditch, and he would make an excellent captain. Compliment over, finished, fini, finito, take it all in it'll never happen again or out loud for that matter. I merely replied with a smile. He'd understand it.

When the carriage pulled up outside the towering doors of Hogwarts I didn't hesitate in jumping from the it and racing into the castle and away from James, no I didn't despise him that much, I just scared myself at how I was becoming accustomed to his company, and I didn't find myself planning his murder as much. He was still an arrogant little shit that was granted, but I guess I was too quick to judge after two weeks of school I had only spoke to him once by that point as well. No this does not mean I like him nor dislike him any less; I was just pointing out a possible error on my younger self's behalf.

It was a magical place, Hogwarts, yes I know it was literally magical but in a more metaphorical sense it was magical too. I'd managed to get through the doors before the heavy bustle of students attacked the ageing wood, leaving me the perfect opportunity to seclude myself on the furthest end of the Gryffindor table. There was a sprinkle of bodies among the great hall but nobody particularly interesting, so without looking further I took off to my precious table end. I sat down and began to stare aimlessly at the wall parallel to me, with nothing to do until the sorting started and my lack of friends lessening the options further, this was the most appealing option. I was slightly nervous, and I wasn't sure why, my best guess was that I was worried Phoebe would be sorted into Gryffindor. I know that sounds selfish and it is really. I just liked the idea that my school life and home life were totally separate and by her being in the same house, I would see her more, resulting in an aspect of my home life becoming my school life. Admittedly I brought grudges held because of my home life into my school life but there's yet to be anything physical connecting them.

The room soon filled up, but as usual I was happily sat at the end on my own my only contact with the other students was the half annoyed half sympathetic looks I was being sent by Dom. I don't blame her if she's upset I did say I'd start sitting with them at meals. But surely one time would make no difference.

"Welcome back!" Professor Shacklebot's booming voice silenced the hall. "Oh yes, the sorting first." And as if in que the first years began to file into the room behind a slightly hunched over Professor McGonagall.

"Atherton, Rebecca" her shrill voice frightening the poor children that stood in front of her, Rebecca Atherton slowly began to shuffle towards the tattered hat, sitting precariously on the edge of the stool whilst McGonagall vigorously shoved the sorting hat over her head.

"Hufflepuff!" The hat bellowed and was awarded by an eruption of applause from the table to my left.

My attention wavered for the next ten minutes or so before it was snapped back into reality by the sound of McGonagall's voice.

"Peters, Phoebe" the tension in the hall increased by tenfold but that would only be for me. My heart began pounding against my chest and my fingers were crossed in hope that luck would for once in my life be on my side.

"RavenClaw!" At this moment I honestly think I was celebrating more than anyone. Jumping from my seat I began to shout in celebration clapping frantically, Phoebe looked overwhelmed at my reaction and she shot me a grateful smile causing my stomach to drop slightly. She thought I was happy for her, which don't get me wrong I was but my celebration was more for her lack of chivalry and bravery. After that the food couldn't have come sooner. That was by far the highlight of Hogwarts, it never, ever, failed to impress when it came to food, next from that was the astronomy tower. My place of peace, and where I found myself later that night. Dom was still urging me to quit smoking and Isabelle would kill me if she found out I smoked so, the astronomy tower was a smoking spot? I guess you could call it that.

"I still think you should quit." I jumped turning towards the doorway, my cigarette dangling precariously from my bottom lip, expecting someone to be stood there but there wasn't. Whoever had spoke, wasn't speaking to me and curiosity got the better of me when another voice chipped in.

"I see no reason to quit. When I have a reason I will." Scrambling across the stone floor I peered over the edge of the wall looking for the culprits. After a quick scan of the dark surroundings I found them. Two boys directly below me leaning against the wall of the tower, one with smoke drifting upwards from them. As I focused on what I could make out of them, I came to the conclusion that both boys were dark haired, the non-smoker with a large amount more hair than the other. I could no longer make out their voices so that was unhelpful only the buzz of their low voices was audible. But yet after resorting to slouching against the cold floor in defeat a bellowing laugh erupted from below, a more that tell-tale laugh. Freddie Weasley's unique laugh. Seriously, Dom had been pestering me to quit when her beloved cousin smoked. I figured it was her cousin, James and Fred were joined at the hip, and the masses of hair atop the non-smoker's head gave away that Freddie didn't smoke. James? Wonder boy smoked? Well then I didn't expect that. Maybe Dom's right. We might have more in common than I first thought. After another 10 minutes or so, from what I could gather they had left so I chose that as my que to leave also. Jogging down the rickety stairs of the astronomy tower I began to hum to myself a sudden urge to sing Jake Bugg songs overcoming me. There was no one around I saw no reason not to, so I did.

"I drink to remember, I smoke to forget."

I began skipping down the empty corridor, feeling relatively happy for once, continuing to sing as I danced around to hallways. If I could feel like this all the time instead of the usual dejected, neglected feeling I'm filled with I'm sure my fairy tale life wouldn't seem so distant.

"So I hold two fingers up to yesterday, last cigarette I smoke it all away"

"Be quiet you bumbling idiot." A nearby painting scoffed.

"Oh cheer up you old hag, hags" I corrected myself after looking to my left. They merely replied with a tut as I continued on my way. Turning another corner I realised I'd been on the second floor for the last five minutes of my trek. So taking an about turn I started off towards the main staircase, still humming the tune as I went along.

"Meow!"

"Oh shit."

"Who's there my beauty?"

At the sound of Filch's creepy voice I turned around yet again and sprinted back down the corridor, I could hear his staggered footsteps behind me, but I wasn't fooled. After running away from Filch so many times I was aware that somehow in his old age he wasn't slow.

"Students shouldn't be out of bed." He croaked. Oh Merlin his voice was getting closer I turned to run into a classroom just as the door I was planning to open swung towards me smacking me square in the face. I tumbled backwards landing on the floor with thud, my vision started to blur as a searing pain raced across my forehead.

"Are you okay?" A voice distantly asked.

I began to reply about the scream that of course I wasn't okay, but the energy to do that had been wiped clean out of me and the only word I managed was: "filch" before the pain exams too much for me to pay attention to my surroundings in detail. I remember being moved about a great deal, and I felt a lot warmer than I had pervious to my run in with the door, but no noise nor any image of where I was or who with. What felt like much later I regained a fuller consciousness, the pain still in control of my vital nerves but I was slightly more aware of myself I was lay down now, on a bed and I had something cold across my head and right eye.

"Is she alright?"

"Yeah I think so, she might be a bit concussed though, and we should probably take her to Poppy in the morning. Not now, I think she has enough detentions from what Dom has said, breaking curfew won't do any good."

I tried to retort feeling argumentative but my attempt at telling whoever they were that I could do what the hell I liked came out more like a slur and an unattractive grunt.

"Was she drunk?" Whoever was asking the questions in the conversation was seriously retarded; they should be being looked after not me.

"No you idiot." Footfalls close by sounded more like an elephants than humans. "Cassie, are you alright? Can you hear me?" I wanted to reply to the soothing voice next to me but after my last speech attempt I settled for a nod.

"Do you want us to get Dom to take you to your own bed?" I was comfy here so I merely shook my head. The weight that had been on the side of my bed moved and the springs uncoiled pushing me away from the edge again.

"I'll go sleep on the couch in the common room, get some sleep Freddie, I have a feeling she'll be furious when as wakes up in the morning." He chuckled before the footsteps became more distant sounding more human to my ears as they moved further away. I was planning on protesting telling them to get Dom if it meant them having a bed but sleep was the winner of this battle.

Never in my life did I begin to believe it was possible to wake up to such a foul stench.

"My God Dom! What the hell is that smell?" I groaned as I rolled over, but I was met by silence which was unusual, she was always up before me. Sitting up, I felt the blood rush to my head causing me to wince in pain as I brought my hand to my forehead, the raised lump on it and the lack in ability when opening my right eye was concerned reminded me of the previous night's happenings. Stumbling from the bed I had inhabited and grabbing my shoes from the floor I walked towards the door at the other end of the dorm, swaying slightly when a pang of pain hit me. I still wasn't paying much attention to my surroundings my concentration was focused more on the task at hand of getting through the door and down the stairs in front of me. Finally after holding myself up as steadily as I could against the hand rail I managed to land in one piece on the stone floor of the common room. After the difficulty caused by the journey down stairs I admitted defeat and decided I'd wait on a chair down here until I was found instead of attempting to get to my dorm. Slouching in the nearest armchair I peered over at the couch where a messy haired boy was lay a thin blanket barely covering him.

"Stupid bastard." I grumbled as I recalled the conversation between the boys in the dorm last night.

"That's no way to talk about your knight in shining armour." James mumbled his morning voice even huskier than usual, accompanied by his crooked smirk I can't deny that James was attractive, hell he was one of the most attractive boys in Hogwarts, if his ego didn't get in the way, he'd be pretty much perfection. But his head was too big for perfection.

"This isn't a fairy tale James."

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**Review it please, it will get more interesting promise. if you have any ideas, or you want to help me or just criticise i'd be happy with any :D **


	4. Date Confession

"What the fuck happened to you Cassie?" A shrill cry came from somewhere in front of me "Oh my God! We have to get you to Poppy! Oh god! Who did this to you?" I must have dosed off in the chair in the common room because this rude awakening wasn't what I'd wanted. I opened my good eye enough to see that Dom was in fact the owner of the screaming voice and just behind her angry stance was an awakening James potter who I was lazily pointing at.  
"James! How. Could. You." Dom screamed in between hitting her cousin over the head. "Why would you hit Cassie?"  
"I didn't." He grumbled pushing her away easily.  
"Look at her of course you did."  
"He hit me with a door." I mumbled  
"What? That's worse!"  
"Not on purpose you cretin she was running into the classroom of which's door I was opening and I hit her in the face with it." He explained as he stretched.  
"And you didn't take her to poppy?"  
"It was 2am for fucks sake. It's not like I left her on the floor, calm down! I gave her my fucking bed and put an ice pack on her head until she was pretty much asleep!" Throwing his hands up in exasperation before standing and walking towards me. "I'll take her down to Poppy now." He didn't wait for a response picking me up bridal style he began to stride off towards the portrait hole.  
"James" I murmured my voice barely a whisper.  
"Mm-hmm?"  
"You have no top on." I tried not to smile at the idea.  
"If people are gonna stare, may as well give them something to look at" he winked.  
"Arrogant sod."  
"I'll pretend I didn't hear that. How are you feeling? Your head looks sore." I opened my eye just long enough to see the concerned expression on his face, so close to my own as he stared down.  
"It is, I blame you."  
"Why were you up anyway?"  
"I went for a ci- a walk." I quickly corrected myself.  
"A ciawalk? What's that then?" He chuckled.  
"Why were you out James?" I asked attempting to raise my eyebrow knowingly but it was useless.  
"Went for a walk with Fred."  
"I know I saw you. Dirty habit you've got there." The advantage of having dirt on him alone was enough to make me smile.  
"Don't know what you're talking about miss ciawalk" he laughed. Oh shit he wasn't bothered.  
"*Cough* smoker *cough*"  
"God don't you start on the lectures of quitting Dom and Freddie give me them enough"  
"Annoying as fuck isn't it!" I exclaimed into his chest without thought. "Oh shit."  
"Cassie Peters? A smoker? Never in my life would I have guessed that." Dramatically expressing what he thought looked like shock.  
"I don't." I snapped back a little to quickly.  
"*Cough* terrible liar *cough*" he smiled mocking my earlier statement. We walked-well James walked I just balanced-in silence the rest of the way.  
"Hey, Poppy my beauty!" James exclaimed as we entered the hospital wing. "Got an accident on legs here Pop."  
"Oi!" I sulked hitting him on the chest.  
"James Potter. Where are your clothes young man" Poppy exclaimed in horror once I had been settled onto a bed.  
"I'm her knight in shining armour, didn't have time for clothes." He winked adding a few muscle flexes to show off his physique, I wasn't wrong when through a shirt I though he was toned. Urgh Cassie no! I'd been hit on the head I have good reason to admire. I'm concussed."Like what you see poppy?"  
"Mr Potter that is no way to speak to an elder." Poppy's lips were pursed into a tight line and she was physically shaking through annoyance. "I think you should leave Mr Potter. Thankyou for bringing Cassie down."  
"But Cassie needs me to stay with her." He moaned. "We're in love, you see Poppy." Winking at me he blew a kiss whilst I just stared disgusted at him.  
"We are far from in love Potter. I don't like you." I spat. "She's right you did your job so leave."  
"Oh, bitter." Clutching his chest dramatically and adding a fake upset tone to his voice as he spoke. "That hurt right here Cas." But to my relief he left not turning back until he reached the door.  
"I'll come check on you later baby." I could hear his echoing laughter from down the hall once he had left. Oh how he grinds my gears, as if only yesterday I was contemplating the idea of being comfortable in his presence.  
He stuck to his word, three times he had been to see me and it wasn't even 5pm yet. I don't know if he was genuinely worried about my health, he felt guilty or he just wanted to piss me off, the latter being the most likely but even though he was the least wanted company I could ask for, he was the only company I had had. No Dom, no Isabelle, none of my friends had bothered to see me yet the guy I disliked most turned up religiously every two hours. Poppy decided on my arrival that I would have to stay for the day and she'd examine my head later on to see if I was fit to sleep In my own bed. After about 4 potions and a day of ice packs for the searing headaches (which weren't helped by James' presence) it was still only 6pm and Poppy had precisely said 8pm for her verdict which meant two more visits from James one around about now.  
And on que he came crashing through the doors and striding towards my bed.  
"You again? Seriously do none of my friends care about me?." For a minute James looked deep in thought at my question before he merely shook his head. "Fucking great!"  
"At least your face looks better. You look less ugly."  
"Cheers, less ugly. Just how ugly did I look before hand?" I challenged.  
"Pretty ugly, you had a hideous lump on yo-" he trailed off at my death glare. "I mean you looked as beautiful as always Cassie."  
"Aww you think I'm beautiful?"I asked with a smirk.  
"Well you're not ugly, every guy in Hogwarts wants their way with you"  
The smirk previously on my face dropped. It was true guys 'wanted their way' me. They wanted to fuck me and chuck me, none wanted to stay. Never had a boyfriend yet lost count of the number of guys I've slept with. You'd think I'd have a reputation of being a slag. But I didn't, many students believed I was totally innocent. You see no one wants to brag about sleeping with me, I wasn't worth it, and honestly many of the guys were in relationships but their girlfriends were frigid, therefore they wouldn't want people knowing we had sex. It's a vicious circle.  
"Hmm sure."  
"What?" James asked. "That's a good thing everyone loves you." I choked on the water I was sipping spluttering as I tried to get my breath back.  
"Oh yeah I'm completely loved." I sighed sarcastically "Tell me James, these compliments are they somewhere along the lines of: 'oh yeah I'd love to fuck 'er'?" Putting on my best male voice which didn't come out too well mingled with my Irish accent.  
"Errr, no."  
"Liar!"  
"What? No I'm not! Well they don't always say that! Some of them say you're hot."  
"Oh my god. Sorry totally forgot that such compliments meant I'm loved James!" I stated sarcasm laced in my voice. "They all just think I'm easy." It was now James' turn to splutter.  
"What?" He laughed. "I wouldn't call you easy you're like the most closed book in Hogwarts." It seemed James was one of the students believing I was innocent, bless his soul. I just nodded along, not willing to spill the idea that they were right and he was wrong.  
"You coming back with me to Gryffindor tower tonight?" He asked after a few minutes of silence.  
"Dunno, Poppy hasn't decided yet."  
"Ahh" he sighed. "Poppy! Poppy my dearest!" After the sound of papers falling to the floor, shuffling feet and a few anger filled mumbles, Poppy appeared in the doorway of her office.  
"What is it Mr Potter?" She asked pointedly her lips staying in a straight line.  
"Can I take dear Cassie back with me? She'd be happy with a familiar bed. That bed being mine." He winked. Poppy's face flushed at the insinuation.  
"James! That isn't true Poppy." I assured.  
"You were in my bed last night." He stated in retaliation.  
"Yes and you were on the couch so stop putting ideas into people's heads." I felt like I was talking to a child. The day James Potter grows up will be a phenomenon.  
"I was only having a bit of fun." He sulked crossing his arms and sinking into the seat he was vacating next to my bed.  
"Yes, you can take Cassie." Poppy smiled, before adding quickly "But to her own bed not yours."  
"Ahaa!" James exclaimed jumping to his feet.  
"After I've checked her over." James sat back down and began to wait patiently as Poppy checked my vital senses and what not. I sat patiently but James wasn't the most coping of people, he was entertaining himself by blowing his fringe out of his face and tapping every item around him trying to create some form of tune. As the beat to Valerie bounced of his fingers I was tempted to sing along, but I never was one for singing in front of people I don't think anyone even knows I had that ability.  
"Right, you can take her now James." Poppy interrupted his tapping "be gentle."  
"Always" he smiled before slivering one arm under my knees and the other around my back before I even had chance to attempt to stand. "Let's go Peters"  
After a number of eye rolls and tutting at James' pathetic attempts at head injury jokes he turned his head to look at me more directly.  
"So are you ready to tell me why you hate me then." He caught me of guard, I had began to forget about our arrangement. Well, that was a lie I had contemplated telling him every waking minute of the past 2 days but it had left my mind in the past hour.  
"No" I said slightly unsure if my voice was to be trusted. "I'm not telling you."  
"Seems I've got a date for Hogsmead then, doesn't it?" he winked.  
"I'm sure I can prepare myself in a month and a bit."  
"Month and a bit?" He questioned looking puzzled for a second before some kind of realisation kicked in and the creases on his forehead smoothed out. "Oh, you missed Shacklebot's announcement."  
"What announcement?" His forehead creases passing to me.  
"Hogsmead trip got brought forward to the 21st of this month." He grinned mischievously. "Less time to prepare yourself for this beauty." He chuckled raising his eyes brows and looking down at himself.  
"Well that's just fucking fantastic." I grumbled my eyebrows closing together as I frowned harder.  
"Hey, my presence can't be that bad?"  
"It is. But that's not what I was bothered about."  
"Worried you won't have enough time to think of an excuse to not come with me."  
"I'm not going to try and get out of the bet you idiot. I'm a Gryffindor." I stated proudly.  
"What's up with the change in date then?"  
"Doesn't matter, it's nothing." Well that's what I've been lead to believe since I was a kid.

5 days in bed recovering and I was ready to start this week of actual schoolwork. Dom had been kind enough to help me catch up on any missed work and brought me any homework. I'd forgiven her for not visiting me all day once I was informed that James had told everyone Poppy had forbid any visitors and when he came to see me, they were under the impression he was at the library, having a cigarette, talking to McGonagall about Quiditch, or catching up on the charms lesson he had missed that morning. Stupid git.  
Being bed-ridden for almost a week when I finally got out the first place I went to was the astronomy tower I needed a cigarette and my own company.  
I'd brought my guitar with me and was sat strumming some of the tunes to old songs I had written. I missed this. I loved music, I loved my guitar I loved that it was my own little secret, no-one knew I sang or played guitar.

"_You always find the rain in rainbow, and I thought you were sane but all your cracks show tonight. I could wear that dress you won't look your best I could get undressed you'd still look depressed_."

My cigarette was still balanced between my lips as I sang along pausing between verses to take a drag. I hadn't wrote in over a year, but nothing different had happened in my life. It's not as though I could write a song about running away from the caretaker is it. The only decent ideas I could come up with were those of the topic of my father and family but I steered clear of that, I got overly wordy when they were involved usually resorting to singing 'fairy tale in newyork' instead.  
Beginning to strum along to Mumford & Sons-The Cave I was surprised that I was not the voice to sing once the lyrical section of the song started. The voice was gruff certainly not a singing voice but not completely terrible. And they had a great taste in music. I didn't question who as they did not show themselves I merely carried on playing and joined in with their voice adding a softer, sweeter tone to our harmony. As the song finished I couldn't help the soft giggle I let escape, I guess this is one of the reasons it would be nice to have a friend who knew of my talent.  
"Any song requests?" I asked nonchalantly as I tilted my head back gazing at the stars above.  
"Sing one of the songs you were singing before." The voice was low, sounding almost purposefully low.  
"What? You liked the songs I wrote?" I smiled to myself proudly at the idea that someone liked a product of my work.  
"Mmhmm." So I did as asked finding the one most suitable for the moment.

"_And I bet she don't look at stars in the night, I bet she can't sing, I bet she can't write the lyrics to make your heart beat, sing notes to make you go weak._"

After about another half an hour of singing, some known songs that the mystery man sang along to, and an array of my own after a few attempts at remembering the lyrics and chords.  
"I'm getting tired, think I'll hit the hay." I announced.  
"I'll walk you back to your dorm" appearing around the corner as he spoke. "You never told me you could sing Cassie. Or play guitar for that matter." My smile flattened and the happy, friendly excitement I previously felt vanished and was replaced by envy and anger.  
"Leave me alone James." I seethed pushing past him my guitar safely strapped to my back.  
"Oh come on you were happy with me here a minute ago." He paused before adding quieter "before you knew it was me." I carried on ignoring him as he followed me down corridors I took about 5 purposeful wrong turns in hope he'd head back to Gryffindor tower without me but he was persistent.  
"Come on Cas, tell me what I've done? Why you don't like me? I want to be a better person, I don't wanted to be disliked I want to change my wrong doing?!" I stopped dead in the corridor. Spinning round effortlessly to face him. I was angry.  
"You can't change James. And that's just it isn't it, you can't handle being disliked by one person the whole world loves James Potter so the reason one petty person doesn't like him must be so stupid it can be put right just like that." I spat each word with pure venom. "Get your head out of your arse James, look around you not everyone's life is as fucking perfect as yours!" I felt like screaming but I was passed that point my voice was barely a whisper but I could tell my anger was visible by the look on his face. I turned around and sprinted full pelt down the next corridor wanting to get away from him now that tears were beginning to prick my eyelids. I would not show weakness in front of him. I couldn't. He didn't pursue me to my relief but I didn't dare go back to Gryffindor tower in case he was in the common room. I roamed the castle for a good hour before finding an unused classroom. I conjured a blanket and a pillow and made refuge under a table. Setting an alarm for 6am which was merely 3 hours away I closed my eyes and begged for dreamless sleep after such a night. But it didn't come, thoughts carried on racing through my head. Why had I been so angry that it was him? Yes there's the obvious reason but I enjoyed having someone to share my music with, I just wish it hadn't been James. I was pissed off at the fact that I had betrayed myself. I should of found out who was sat there earlier it was my fault. I was stupid. But it's always easier to blame someone else over blaming yourself. I felt petty for getting annoyed like that, for getting upset at confrontation. I'd even given him an inkling to my reason for disliking him. I didn't want him to know because he'd either think I was really stupid or he'd be overly sympathetic and tell me it was fine, I wasn't sure which one was worse. Or maybe just the fact that it would be the last straw, he'd found out about my smoking, my art, about my siblings, now about my music the one secret I had left, I didn't want to let it go so easily. The person I disliked most was beginning to know me better than anyone I had ever known. And that, scared the shit out of me.

Luckily the rest of the week I had no encounters with James, we both ignored each other even in the classes we sat beside each other, which were most considering I was Peters and he was Potter. To my relief he didn't try to mention my outburst, he didn't mention anything actually, it was slightly unnerving. It had come to the point that Fred was making snide comments at me instead of James. And Dom seemed to have noticed our sudden further distancing.  
"Why are you and James completely silent around each other?" She enquired at dinner, I could see the chicken stuck between her teeth as she spoke to me, I was expecting it to land on me at any moment.  
"We don't like each other. You know that already."  
"Yeah but, he likes you, but he's being weird too and you were like speaking a bit last week he even looked after you."  
"I didn't ask him to look after me! It was his fucking fault anyway." I hissed banging my hands on the table. "I don't need babying Dom. Especially not from him."  
"Alright, calm down I was just wondering what the sudden mood changing was about."  
"Shut up." I stated trying to be angry but I ended up smiling at Dom as she attempted to pull chicken from her teeth. "You have a wand Dom."  
"Oh, right." She mumbled before quickly ridding herself of chicken.  
"Right, come on we've got McGonagall now." I stood up from the bench and began to tug at Dons arm as she sat there gormless. "Dom come on."  
She eventually followed me to transfiguration, which turned out to be a rather boring lesson for a Friday afternoon, I was glad the next 2 lessons were free periods extending my weekend ever so slightly.  
"Write the date at the top of your parchment Miss Peters, presentation is key." Her Scottish accent towered over me as I looked up to the board to see the date. "It's the 20th of September Cassandra." She answered my query without me asking. I scribbled it frustratedly at the top of my parchment before carrying on with the notes I had been taking down silently begging for the bell to ring so I could go for a cigarette. Eventually it did, but I didn't head straight for the astronomy tower as usual, I took a detour to my dorm, grabbing my guitar and strapping it to my back before leaving swiftly, walking past a studying Potter who was sat in the common room from one glance I guessed he was doing homework but I walked past refusing to pay him any attention. I was three quarters of the way up the astronomy tower when an echoing moan filled the air accompanied by a number of breathless mumbles. You're kidding me right? There's some slut having sex on the astronomy tower. I need a cigarette man! Take your sexual pleasures elsewhere. I turned around, figuring barging in and demanding they find an empty classroom whilst I have a smoke was a bad plan, and headed towards the black lake. I knew there would be a tonne of pupils there, it was still pleasantly warm for September, but they'd stay on the bank closest to the castle. There was a cliff-like edge to the lake round the right side of it, away from the giggling girls and the boys attempting to flirt with the ones out of their league. I went there in summer usually. I could sit out of sight with my guitar or a canvas and paint, I have a feeling that Shacklebot knows I play, and paint, and probably smoke, his office window looks down at the spot by the lake, but if he was bothered I'm sure he would have mentioned something by now.  
Starting the riff to a cribs song, my favourite: be safe. I couldn't sing much of it the words got jumbled up when I attempted it, if you listened to it you'd understand. But every time I play it I attempt the words regardless, usually sounding retarded when I know I'm getting the words wrong, my mumbling fits quite well with the beat of it anyway.  
Giving up I threw my guitar to the side lying back against a tree and pulling out a cigarette, lighting it with my lighter (lighters are more interesting than using my wand, be quiet.) and tilting my head back,  
"_I know a place we can go where you'll fall in love so hard that you'll wish you were dead_" I hummed the lyrics still stuck in my head.  
"You still up for tomorrow?" I stopped humming and moved further away from the voice.  
"Yes. I don't back down on bets."  
"You told me though?"  
"No I didn't James. What are you on about?" I scoffed.  
"You screamed at me that night after you were singing on the astronomy tower." I laughed, I honestly started out right laughing.  
"How fucking petty do you think I am?" I asked still laughing "I don't dislike you because I think you need someone to hate you!"  
"You do realise that you could have got out of our date then?" He chuckled. "Give us a light?" I edged closer to him and pulled out my lighter handing it over. "So, must admit I'm slightly scared if your reason isn't petty."  
I just smiled and we carried on sitting in silence. It was nice, peaceful.  
By the time I got back to my dorm it was half 11, James had left to go to dinner but I didn't want to disturb the peaceful orb I had created out here so I sat there, alone, until I got too cold. No one was awake when I got back so I just sat on my four-poster under the covers, my headphones in constantly checking the clock for the strike of 12.  
"Happy Birthday Cassie..." I mumbled blowing out the lighter I had lit seconds before. My birthday never excited me, it was never celebrated and I never really received many presents, I'd get one from Nathan, if I'm lucky: Phoebe, Robbie and Aidan, and Dom and Izzy. My dad refused to celebrate my birthday. I never knew why, when I was little I didn't understand why everyone else got a cake and presents and got treated like a prince or princess all day and I didn't, my birthday was the same as any other regular day. I did the unfortunate thing of asking why on my 9th birthday my dad simply replied "Your birth isn't worth celebrating." I may have been young but anyone would understand that. I think that was the day I started to despise my father, also the day I decided emotions could go fuck themselves. But at nine I think I was thinking more along the lines of "feelings can go away."

I woke up considerably early the next morning getting a shower and dressed as quick as possible, well after deciding what to wear. I picked up outfit after outfit (I liked my clothes.) opinions fluctuating "I don't want to look like I'm trying to impress him" & "I don't want to look scruffy"  
Finally deciding on a pair of denim shorts, a peach cardigan, a white tee and tan loafers. I was satisfied, tying my hair to the side so it fell down my left side in its long blonde waves. It was 10am and Dom was beginning to stir, that being my que to leave, I quietly tip-toed to the door and left the room before they awoke. I bet you're wondering why? I have 2 reasons:  
1. Dom would start being overly happy celebrating my birthday,  
when I didn't want to and also didn't want people knowing it was my birthday. I don't like the attention.  
2. She knew I had a date, she didn't know who. The quicker James and I left, the better.  
Realising it was still early for a Saturday I opted to wait for James in the common room, but after an hour I got impatient. I walked up the boys staircase as calmly as possible before reaching the 7th year dorm door, I contemplated knocking on just in case they were naked but decided against it since I'd already seen half of this dorm's inhabitants naked. Pushing against the door I expected to be welcomed by screams of boys covering themselves. But no, much better. An echo of different pitched snoring. Rolling my eyes I made my way to where I recognised James' bed, being careful not to step on any of the 'things' over the floor.  
Pulling back the curtain surrounding his bed, I revealed a butt naked James Potter lay face down on his pillow. I tried hard not to laugh, also wishing I had my camera with me. It was a hilarious sight his nose was squished to the side and his hair was in total disarray. He has a nice bum. I don't care! I can say that in my head, just not out loud. Looking around myself I located a potions book, I could damage that, it looked battered anyway, pulling it from the pile of books on his side table I carefully position it over his head swinging it up an down in preparation before wacking the back of his head with it, don't worry I wasn't too hard I didn't want a dead date. He jumped in his sleepy state as his eyes fluttered open and he began to wince.  
"Ow, what the hell was that for Freddie?" He mumbled his eyes barely open as he looked up rubbing the back of his head.  
"I don't look the slightest bit like Freddie." I stated. "I suggest you get some clothes on Potter, we've got a date." With that I dropped the book on his head once again and strode out the room. I could handle half an hour longer in the common room now I knew he was awake. I was only waiting for 15 minutes to my delight. I was lay along the red, velvet couch as I heard his footsteps, propping myself up I watched him walk down the last few steps examining what he was wearing. He presented himself well. Pale, acid wash jeans roles up at the bottom, dessert boots, a burgundy shirt and a denim jacket in his hand. Double denim, if you can pull it off then wow. And James seriously pulled it off, my God he looked hot. Was I staring, oh God I was. Just as he reached the bottom step, an echo of giggles and rapid footfalls sounded, all clearly belonging to Dom. I felt my eyes widen before rolling off the couch and under it. The confusion on James' face was priceless.  
"Cassie what are you doing?" I rolled quickly from under the couch put my finger to my lips and motioned my head towards the girls dorms.  
"I'm not here." I whispered whilst rolling back under the couch, I felt like some FBI agent, it was great. Spying on the suspect of a crime. Dominique Weasley, guilty of celebrating a birthday against Cassie Peters will.  
Lying silently under the couch I peered up to the appearing Dom Weasley. She was carrying a neatly wrapped present god damn it.  
"Hey James." She sang cheerfully. "Have you seen Cassie anywhere?" This was the moment of truth, would he reveal my secret hiding place or could he be trusted with the FBI secret? Dun Dun Duunnnn.  
"No sorry, why'd you need her?"  
I let out a sigh of relief, before realising he'd asked why. No, no, no, Dom don't tell him. No! I was begging her in my head hoping we shared some form of telepathy. We didn't.  
"She'd kill me if she knew I'd told you." She paused, don't tell him that's a good girl. I will kill you. "Well, it's her birthday and she doesn't like her birthday, God knows why? So she runs off when I try give her a present. Guess I'll give it her in Hogsmead she must have left with her mystery date already." I could only imagine the inappropriate looks Dom was sending James now, for a fact she would be raising her eyebrows. Oh no, what if James tells her I'm his date. Shit. This isn't going well.  
"You'll get to find out when you give her her present then." Thank you James, thank you, thank you, thank you.  
"Oh that's true, right I need to go get ready." She added before trotting off up the stairs again. I rolled from under the couch letting out a large sigh.  
"What was that abou-"  
"I might tell you later, lets go." I cut him off jumping to my feet and grabbing him by the wrist.  
"Considering I won the bet, we're doing this date properly." He said stopping just outside the portrait hole and pulling his arm from my grip. "You'll hold my hand." He smirked grabbing my hand and intwining his fingers between mine. I stared at our hands for a while, unsure what I was thinking, before I shrugged and started walking again.  
"What do you have planned for our proper date then?" I asked as we strolled out of the front doors already getting strange glances. This would be a long day.  
"Well, Cassandra I was thinking first we go to The Three Broomsticks for a butter beer or something, then I have a surprise." He smirked wiggling his eyebrows.  
"Should I be scared." I asked creasing my eyebrows. "I feel like I should be."  
"Depends, are you a pussy Cassie?"  
"I ain't no pussy. Hell no! I'm an independent black woman that don't need no man!" I stated in my best American accent, clicking my fingers across my pouted face three times. Before trying to walk on as though nothing had happened, but James was finding it difficult to control his laughter and soon enough he was full out laughing.  
"Do it again." Well that's what it sounded like, amongst the laughter and gasping for air he was doing it was hard the tell.  
"No, it was my one off. Why are you laughing at my black woman impression? It's mean to laugh." I stated pouting. I'd decided it was pointless being bitter with James today, even though it never really was much I wasn't planning on ruining my birthday, again.  
"Okay, okay, I'm not laughing. See no laughing." Admittedly he had stopped laughing but he had a constant grin on his face as a barrier for the laughter. He began walking in step with me again and pulled out a pack of cigarettes grabbing one from the pack with his lips, before thrusting them towards me.  
"Want one?" He asked the cigarette on his lips wobbling.  
"Thanks." I smiled grabbing one from the pack. "Do you need a light?" I pulled out my lighter from my right pocket, dropping James' hand before shielding the cigarette and flame from the wind and lighting it. Dropping its lid back over I passed it to James. He studied it for a moment before lighting his.  
"A Quadrophenia zippo, very nice. I love that movie." He watched me as I placed it back in my pocket before he regained his hold on my hand.  
"First Hogsmead trip without Dom moaning!" I exclaimed punching the air in celebration before laughing to myself. I wasn't used to having company other than Dom.  
"Have you never been without Dom?"  
"Yeah, when she had a date, I'd go with Izzy."  
"What? So you've never had a date to Hogsmead before?" He looked genuinely shocked.  
"Nope." I shook my head popping the 'p' it was true I hadn't, I was in my last year at Hogwarts and my first date was with the boy I liked least and I was only on it because I lost a bet.  
"I don't believe you." He said matter-of-factly.  
"Well you better, it's true."  
"You're lying. How could you have never been on a date, you're beau- you're, you're not ugly." His face started to tinge a little pink and he turned away taking a drag from his cigarette.  
"Thanks. But no I've never been asked. Never had a date, never had a boyfriend." James looked at me for a second looking for a sign that I was lying but when he clearly didn't see one, some form of realisation spread over his face.  
"Wait. Cassie, are you a virgin?" I choked on the smoke I had just inhaled coughing and spluttering at what he'd just asked. When I finally gained control of myself. I looked at him trying not to laugh.  
"Oh James, how naive you are." I patted him on the shoulder with my free hand, his face was still quizzical.  
"So you're not?" His eyebrows furrowing together.  
"I find it hilarious how little you know about me." I smiled sweetly.  
"Answer the damn question Cassie." He was starting to get frustrated, it was fun.  
"James, James, James, I've probably slept with 10x more boys than you have girls."  
"Ha, I doubt it." He said puffing his chest out. "How many boys? 3?"  
"You give me your number James and I'll give you the multiple you'd use to get to my number."  
"It'll be minus, I've slept with 7 girls."  
"Oh Jesus, I'm gonna give you such a terrible impression now." I paused "square that number and you'll hit the nail on the head."  
"WHAT?" His eyes widened, maybe I shouldn't have told him. "Jesus Christ, holy fuck I thought you were a virgin how the hell didn't I know?!"  
"I don't know, I've fucked half of your dorm, excluding you, Fred and Finnegan."  
"Half the school Are related to me! Oh god have you slept with my cousins?"  
"No, no blood relatives."  
"What does that mean?"  
"Well you class Teddy as family, right?"  
"You fucked Ted?" He looked unamused now.  
"He took my v card."  
"He hasn't been here for 3 years."  
"I know I was in 3rd year, he was in 6th."  
"You were 13 when you lost your virginity?" He looked appalled I didn't like it.  
"14." My voice was low and mumbling.  
"Oh god!"  
"You don't know me James! You can't judge me! You have no fucking idea!" I pulled my hand from his shouting as I went to storm off, to realise we were at the door of the pub, so I just went inside and threw myself into a booth at the back. Slumping down in the seat, crossing my arms, creasing my eyebrows and sulking.  
A light thud, and a shift in the seat's position told me James had sat next to me, not too close though.  
"I'm sorry Cassie. You're right I don't know you, but that's not all my fault. I want to know you, but you won't let me." His voice was so soft and comforting it made me feel welcome, wanted.  
"I don't want people knowing. They'll think I'm stupid." I mumbled my voice barely a whisper.  
"If you don't want to tell me Cassie, you don't have to." He paused taking in a breath. "Just know I'm here to listen. Do you want a butter beer?"  
"Firewhiskey." I said quickly."Please." I brought my head up slightly, sending a weary James a weak smile.  
Minutes later he returned, two glasses of firewhiskey in his hands.  
"May as well make the most of our Saturday." He said tilting his head back and shotting his firewhiskey in one go, I followed suit.  
"Only one drink, I don't want to apparate drunk. Come on." He grabbed my hand as I still stared at him bewildered, he dragged me from my seat, out the door, down the Main Street until I found myself in a side alley. "We're going on a muggle style date. But I need to stop off somewhere first so hold on." His hand still in mine he span around on the spot and a familiar whirling feeling encircled me. I was a strange one, I loved the feeling of apparating, it was like being high.  
My feet landed on a soft carpet, far from what I'd expected.  
"James, what are you doing here!" A booming voice echoed around me as I tried to gain sight of my surroundings.  
"Chill out Dad. It's the Hogsmead trip." He started to walk forward pulling me with him. That's when it hit me, we were in James' house. Harry Potter was in front of me. Holy shit. "I've brought Cassie here, I'm gonna get some money and we're going bowling."  
"James you can't leave Hogsmead just because you can apparate." Harry seemed slightly angry but not too angry.  
"Oh hello James." A sweet, loving voice called, as a red headed woman I recognised as Ginny Potter walked into the room, I guessed was the lounge. "Is this your new girlfriend?"  
"No." I cut in sharply.  
"Just a friend then?"  
"Yeah she's a friend." James smiled at his mother.  
"We're not friends." I couldn't help myself.  
"Oh." His mother looked puzzled. James helped me out though.  
"Picked her up on the street." He chuckled.  
"More like kidnapped me." I added, he beamed down at me, I liked his smile.  
Both Harry and Ginny started chuckling.  
"Nah." James sighed. "She hates me. She lost a bet and had to come on a date with me."  
"I don't hate you." I added in.  
"Oh yeah sorry, 'dislikes' me." He smirked. "Come on Cas we'll go get money." He yanked me forward, past Harry and Ginny Potter, all the way to his room. He grabbed a wallet spilling with muggle money. You could tell his dad saved the world, everything in his room screamed "rich!" It was beautiful his house though, and his room. Wow. Dom was right, it did compete with mine. I walked to the back where I saw a stack of vinyls and began to flick through them. My fingers stopping on one in awe.  
"Oh my God!" I gasped picking it from the pile and spinning to face James. "No way. I can't believe you have a smiths first addition!" I exclaimed running my fingers over the record in my arms trying to memorise its every point. He chuckled.  
"Yeah, got it as a birthday present a few years ago." My face dropped, a present of course. "Stick it on the record player." I looked up as he pointed to my left.  
"_Shyness is nice, and shyness can stop you from doing all the thing a in life you want to.  
Shyness is nice, and shyness can stop you from doing all the thing a in life you'd like to._"  
"My favourite!" I smiled as I began to sing along, dancing around in his room.  
"It is a great record."  
"You're so lucky James." I said before bursting into the chorus again.  
"Come on dancer, lets go." His lips tilting up to the side as I pulled a face.  
"One more song?" I pouted, pulling a puppy-dog eyes face.  
"No, come on, knock it off." He laughed. "We're walking to the bowling alley."  
"I've never been bowling before." I frowned.  
"I'll teach you."

"Come on swing your arm back, then forward." James was stood directly behind me, his front pressed against my back, one of his hands on my waist, the other holding my outstretched arm which was holding a very heavy bowling ball.  
"Fuck it." I exclaimed moving away from him and grabbing the ball with two hands. "I'll roll it." I bent forward placing the ball between my open legs and pushed the orange ball out in front of me with a very unattractive grunt. Watching it intently as it surprisingly rolled in a straight line right down the middle of the bowling lane. The tension built as it knock the first pin, then the rest just fell like dominos.  
"YES! YES! YES! Take that biatch!" I shouted pointing at James. "Woo!" I jumped up punching the air before unsteadily landing back on the ground, my feet slipping from beneath me and they slid forward resulting in me landing on my backside painfully. "Owww!"  
"Aha! Karma bitch!" James laughed loudly, walking towards me, I held my hand up expecting him to help but he didn't, he just stood there and laughed. With another grunt I hauled myself up, and slapped James around the back of the head.  
"Another drink?" I asked.  
James nodded in response. We'd been here 2 hours and were on our 4th game, James had won all of them to my dismay. And we were on our, about 7th pint of beer. It was no where near as nice as firewhiskey but that's only a wizarding drink so they didn't have it. It was safe to say we were beginning to get a bit tipsy but it made everything all the more fun, I was honestly enjoying myself.

After a while, we gave up on the bowling and just sat in the bar outside.  
"Tell me why you don't like me Cassie." I contemplated it for a while, before realising it was pointless now.  
"I'm jealous of you." I said straightly.  
"Huh?" He raised an eyebrow.  
"I should start from the beginning I guess" I paused. I knew I was getting drunk now but I still knew what I was talking about. "My dad is married to Ellen, who is the mother of all of my siblings, but not me, 18years 9months ago my dad and Ellen had a fight, my dad got drunk, went to a bar, met my mum and ended up sleeping with her. 9 months after that, my dad opened his front door to a baby on his door step and a note. That baby was me. The note said something along the lines of:  
'I can't take care of our baby, she's your responsibly now.  
Helen'  
So my dad brought me up, unwillingly. I don't like my birthday because my birthday is never celebrated, all my other sibling's were, all the family's birthdays were celebrated grandly, but not mine. So at the age of 9 I asked my dad why and he said because your birth isn't anything to be happy about. Nathan is the only person I've ever got a present from apart from Dom now. In other words I'm not loved by my parents. When I started Hogwarts, I had no friends. I didn't for 2 years until the start of 3rd year, and honestly I bet Dom and Izzy only made friends with me out of pity. In third year, as I told you before, I started sleeping with guys, it made me feel wanted for a short period if time, but I've never ever woke up and they still be there in the morning, even when it was in their bed they'd leave. They're all ashamed of me really. James I've never been loved or wanted by anyone. Not even my own mum and dad, my flesh and blood. My dad hates me, I remind him of the biggest mistake of his life, I am the biggest mistake in his life. I have no friends. No boy has looked at me as anything apart from an easy fuck. Even phoebe my youngest sister has more friends than I've ever had and she's been in Hogwarts for 3 weeks. James you're loved by everyone, everyone in the school adores you, they'd fall to their knees for you, you have this massive loving family where everyone loves each other, you get birthday presents. I bet you're dad isn't planning on kicking you out the day you turn 18. Actually, I wonder whether he's threw all my belongings out yet. Ha.  
I don't like you James because I'm fucking jealous of your perfect life. I have nothing, okay my dad has money and gives me objects now and then, but I don't have grandparents his parents don't know I exist, he won't tell them about me I'm not allowed to meet them. I want to have at least a little bit of the love that you get constantly. I find it unfair that you get all the love and I get none. That is why I don't like you."

"Dad!" James shouted.  
"Shhhhh!" I hissed trying to put a finger to my lips but missing completely and poking myself in the cheek instead. Resulting in us both laughing hysterically.  
"My God James! How much have you drank!" Harry was here. In his slippers. Ha. Harry Potter in slippers.  
"Nothing." He paused. "Okay lots and lots." We both started laughing again.  
"Jesus Christ, I'll floo you both back to the Gryffindor common room." Harry grumbled steering James and I towards the fire. Things were really blurry. Well they had been for a while, I'm not sure how Harry came to be here. Or if I won a game, I'm sure I did. But we were in the common room.  
"Night Cas."  
"Are you not going to give me a kiss goodnight James?" I asked closing my eyes and pouting my lips up at him.

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	5. The morning after the night before

Everything hurt. My back, my legs, arms, face, head. Oh god. My head. I could feel the miniature sumo wrestlers in my brain, pounding against my skull. The pain. I felt like groaning but I physically couldn't. My body was pressuring me to stay quiet and still in this warm cosy bed, and never move again. I seconded this decision. My eyes weren't open but I was awake, well I was until I began to drift back to a half conscious slumber. I was aware but unresponsive. Like a coma patient.

I could hear laughter, very hearty laughter. Even if my eyes were open I'd be unable to see who said person was considering I was lay face down on my pillow. I sleep strangely, so what?

The laughter continued to get louder and I began to detect murmurs from the laughter. Something along the lines of "who's gonna wake him?" And "I can't believe him" followed by more laughter. I registered nothing they said, the pain in my body too great for me to give a shit, and I drowned out their laughter and the beat of my headache by singing various songs in my head. My eyelids were becoming increasingly heavy and the remaining senses I had use of we're becoming weaker, the beauty of sleep about to take me before a extremely loud voice broke out.

"Woah, mate I was right." The loud voice laughed, I winced at the volume so close. "Guys he did have a girl here last night, some blonde." It went quiet for a second but the bed began to shake slightly and grumbling erupted next to me.

"He awakes. My god you were loud last night." The voice loudened and the laughter continued.

"Was I snoring?" A quiet mumble asked. But was merely answered with another roar of laughter.

"You-snore-ahaha-no,no,no-aha." The voice stuttered through laughter. "No mate you clearly brought your Hogsmead date back with you last night!"

"What?!" The previously sleeping body next to me exclaimed clearly more alert now. "Shit,shit,shit. Oh God. Oh shit."

"What the hell? Why are you sad about this?" The voice asked sounding genuinely confused.

"Oh fuck off Fred! All of you can fuck off." He groaned making me subconsciously wince. Wait. Fred? There's only one Fred in Hogwarts, apart from that 1st year and I doubt I'm in a room with the first year. Oh god. Hogsmead. Date. Brought back. Comfy bed. Morning. Fuck.

The group of boys had clearly left and it was silent for a time. The weight shifted on the bed, and the sound of footfalls beat against my ear drums.

"Fuck. Fuck. Fuck" he mumbled. "Prepare to be hated even more James." He whispered in a mocking tone. I didn't know if I should hate him, it was obvious now what had happened, and we were evidently extremely drunk, the excruciating headache backs that up. And it was probably both of our faults, I doubt he forced himself on me, I have no reason to hate him, feel extremely awkward, yes. Hate him, not so much. A number of groans followed in his monologue before banging began to echo. Was he banging his head, peeling my left eye open slightly I turned my head to the side to see, he was indeed banging his head against the wall.

"Stop banging your head you retard." I grumbled from the bed. He instantly stopped and jumped to his feet.

"Oh god Cassie, I'm so sorry, I'm so fucking sorry, I don't know how it happened I don't remember anything. Oh fucking hell. I'm a twat."

"Shut up I've got a headache." I grumbled again.

"What, you're not bothered that we had sex? You hate me, and we slept together and you're not going ballistic? What?" He looked hilarious his hair was sticking up in every direction possible and throwing his hands up in exasperation he looked like a mad scientist. I sat up, instantly regretting it.

"James, obviously I'm pissed off, I don't want to have had sex with you. I don't like you, but we did. And we can't change that. Don't worry I'm used to having sex with boys and nothing happening from it, clearly, you're not considering you look like you're going to propose in a minute." I chuckled at the idea.

"James just carry on with life, it's not hard. You don't remember it, I don't remember it. So sadly I can't hold against you how shit in bed you are. But neither of us can feel awkward technically, it's not like we'll be imagining each other naked, considering we haven't seen each other na-"

"You're naked now Cas." James butted in.

"Okay so maybe it'll be slightly awkward." Pulling the covers up around my chest. "Well yeah, I'll just find my clothes and be on my way, I still don't like you James. Sex or not." Ending my monologue I began to scan the room for my clothes.

"I think I was good, considering Freddie complained about us being loud." He smirked whilst pulling a pair of black jeans on.

I was still stood in my underwear, but no longer had a duvet wrapped around me, making my attempt to find clothes easier.

"James!" A voice shouted. I froze, I knew that voice. Oh god this is it, this is the end. "James! I'm coming in." James' face paled.

"Hide!" He whispered pushing me to the floor and under his bed.

"Oh hey Dom" James smiled not so nonchalantly as the door opened.

"Hi." She started. "Did you see Cassie yesterday? I didn't see her in Hogsmead, or at dinner and she didn't come back to the dorm last night?" James started coughing. Idiot, give it away why don't you.

"Erm, no maybe she spent the night with her Erm her err date? Why'd you need her?" Dom gasped. Oh shit she knows. Damn you James Sirius Potter!

"Can't a best friend want to know the whereabouts of her beloved friend?" She mocked. Oh thank god.

"Let's be serious now Dom."

"Need to give her her present don't I."

"I'm sure she'll be at lunch, she needs to eat right? Take it down to the hall, if I see her I'll make sure she goes down, s'that okay?"

"Yes, you're a star James, see you later." She cheered before the door banged shut and I was alone with James again. I stood up slowly this time with pants on.

Now dressed and stood by the door I turned to face James sternly.

"Rule 1, never speak of this again, to anyone.

Rule 2, no awkward glances or eye contact.

Rule 3, act exactly how we did before last night and no one will notice a thing. Got it?" I then turned to leave my hand on the handle.

"Wait! Cassie." James jumped in before I could leave, I could hear him moving closer to me. "What you said last night, about why you hate me, was that true?" His voice was so soft I didn't know whether to feel intimidated or comforted.

I simply replied "yes." Before leaving the room. I had hoped he hadn't remembered that. I certainly did, in all honestly I remembered most of the night considerably well, right up until I asked him to kiss me. Bits were still blurry to me though, including his reaction to my rushed speech which informed him of my whole life and all my insecurities. Smart move Peters.

Figuring I should probably change clothes before going down to dinner I snook up to the girls dorm, relieved to find it empty, I quickly changed into some fresh clothes, brushed my teeth and washed before leaving for the hall.

I knew the great hall would be full ,it was dot on 12noon and people were passing me at speed all the way there, so if Dom did try to make a big deal of my birthday no one would pay attention. I wasn't wrong. Dom, non so elegantly, stood on the table at my entrance, grabbing the attention of a few fellow students before they turned back to their food.

"Happy Birthday Cassie!" Dom screamed before correcting herself "for yesterday." I just shook my head and sat down at the end of the table. Wondering to myself whether James was a good actor, for both of our sakes I hope to Merlin he was.

"Oi what do you think you're doing? You're sitting with me!" Dom announced whilst pulling me from my seat and dragging me to a spot on the bench next to her and among her other family members, all of them who attended Hogwarts apart from Albus, who was in Slytherin and James who I last saw putting jeans on.

"I never saw you yesterday, where were you?" Dom queried.

"Avoiding you." I answered emotionlessly.

"Oh" she paused "Well here's your present then!" She beamed thrusting a terribly wrapped present towards me. I ripped off the paper slowly keeping my brow furrowed and my lips pursed to portray my unhappiness at the idea of a present. Once I had got the paper off I revealed a denim jacket, one I had seen months ago in a shop in muggle London. I couldn't believe she had bought me it. And to my annoyance I smiled at it.

"Is that, oh my god! Is that a smile Cassandra? SOMEONE TAKE A PICTURE!" Dom screamed sarcastically.

"Oh, hilarious. No really you're so funny." I deadpanned in response.

"What's all the screaming about Dom." James smirked as he took a place across from me.

"You'd know all about screaming." Freddie laughed punching him lightly in the arm "so, who is she?"

"Who's who?" Dom jumped in intrigued.

"James here had a girl last night. A great girl by the sounds of things. Forgot the silencing charm." Freddie laughed again sending James a wink.

"So who was she?" I stared James down as he watched me carefully. Answer you fool, answer.

"Dunno, just some blonde Ravenclaw I picked up on the way back from Hogsmead." He smirked. Good boy.

"Oh did Jamesy boy finally loose his v card?" I mocked pouting at him sarcastically.

"Oh, sorry Cas, forgot I wasn't a slut like you." Woah over stepping the line.

"Wow, okay then. Thanks." Stabbing my fork into the last remaining chip on my plate.

"An owl at lunch? That's new." Izzy mumbled to herself through the awkwardness that had come to be. My head shot up towards the on coming owl. An owl I recognised, not from many letters received from it, I'd only had 3, 2 of which were howlers, I just knew the owl. And I knew what would be enclosed in this letter. Just as I expected the screech owl flew past me dropping the letter to my lap before turning elegantly in the air and following its own path back out of the window. I didn't want to open it here so I left, my mind occupied.

"I'm going for a fag." I announced without thought. Dom started to argue against it, Freddie seemed confused as did Izzy, but most surprisingly James stood up and followed me.

"And where are you going?" Dom questioned venomously.

"What? She has a cool lighter." I smiled at his response purely because it was most likely his truthful reason for following me. As I exited the Great Hall James had fallen in step with me. Damn you short legs.

"Important letter?"

"I don't know I haven't opened it yet." I spat back.

"You looked like you need knowing company." He shrugged. I looked at him for a second, my frown fading slightly, but I didn't answer. He was right, annoyingly. I wanted someone with me, yes but I didn't want to explain my life story to them. Even more annoyingly James knew my life story already.

The second the astronomy tower door swung open I pulled out a packet of cigarettes, lighting one as I slid to the floor before throwing the lighter to James who in turn lit his own it was like we already had a routine.

Twiddling the letter through my fingers I contemplated burning it there and then, never having to read the dreaded words, but I knew that wouldn't end well so with a large sigh I ripped open the top of the letter, delicately pulling out the folded parchment, it wasn't a lengthy letter I could tell from where the ink had sunk through the parchment.

'Dear Cassandra,

I promised you a year, and that's what I have given you. I have moved all your belongings into your Gringotts account. I have told you to get a job for over a year, if you were incapable of listening to my advice I'm sure you have a friend who will house you during holidays until you find a job. I have raised you Cassandra, but you are no longer my responsibility. Please do not try to contact me in any way, only if I have missed any of your belongings. Good luck with life Cassandra.

Malachi Peters.'

"Arsehole." I growled to myself.

"Guessing it wasn't a late birthday card?" James chuckled attempting to lighten the mood. I merely stared at him venomously. "Evidently not."

"My dad" I spat his title "just officially kicked me out." My grip tightened on the crumpled letter my knuckles whitening. "Argh!" I screamed throwing it to the ground and throwing myself to my feet before repeatedly kicking the wall to add drama to the scene. "I hate him, I fucking hate him! The fucking twat! I wish he would find a cave away from civilisation so he can stop ruining people's lives! Ahhh!" I shouted through anger, all the while James had picked up the scrunched parchment and was reading it carefully, usually I would care but I was too angry to care, I was ranting.

"And he didn't think to fucking tell me yesterday, when I could have got to Diagon Alley. No, the prick thought it'd be funny to leave it for a day." I spat sarcastically. I was panting out of breath, but still continued to pound the innocent brick wall with my foot.

"Cassie calm down." His voice was annoyingly calm. "Just take a breath, and leave the poor wall alone." His voice continued to get closer until his breathing was right next to my ear. My muscles began to relax on their own accord and I had terminated my insistent wall kicking but my breathing was still heavy as I turned to face James.

"What am I supposed to do now? I have nothing James, I'm all alone!" My voice was barely a whisper in fear of it cracking into floods of tears. He shushed me before pulling me into his chest.

"I still don't like you." I mumbled into his robes, in reply he laughed, his chest rippled moving my face with it.

Suddenly he pushed me away from him before grabbing my hand.

"Come on, we're going Diagon Alley." He turned back to flash me a cheeky smile before racing forwards again pulling me with him.

Many questions balanced on the tip of my tongue but didn't fall as my mind decided when James Potter is concerned the less you know, the better.

I'm not quite sure why, but for some reason I didn't argue, I let him drag me forwards down a number of corridors up and down staircases, down some dingy old ramp behind a statue of a witch, well yeah I did question that. Turns out James has the famous marauder's map. Pretty cool. Then down a long dark muddy tunnel all to end in me standing up straight by the ladder and bashing my head on something hard.

"Owww." I moaned.

"Shush." James' eyes widened warningly.

"Who's there, if you're trying to steal my stock it's pointless, sold it all yesterday." He paused. "Bloody kids, putting me out of stock" The gruff voice began grumbling to its self before a number of quieting footsteps drowned out his mumbles.

James pushed lightly up against the stone slab above him before peering into the room above.

"All clear." He beamed, before hauling himself up through the square gap above us. Placing my hands on either side of the gab I was submerged within, I put all my strength into pushing myself up, after a few attempts I managed to get my torso above the floor, but that was it, I was stuck pointlessly attempting to get my foot up. James was oblivious, rummaging through boxes looking for sweets.

"James." I breathed, my voice sounding painful through the amount of effort I was putting into holding myself up. "wee bit of help here?"

On demand he bounded over like a excited puppy and threw himself to the floor, sitting with his legs dangling through the remaining space in the hole, my arms still on the floor either side of him. He went to grab me under my arms.

"No I'm ticklish!" I shouted quickly before it was too late. He simply smiled again before moving his hands to my waist.

With one heave he pulled me through the gap, but seriously overestimated my weight a I flew head first towards him and he fell backwards against the stone floor, resulting in us being in a very close proximity position. My nose was touching his, I was lay flat on top if him, his hands had slipped down a few notches and were balanced uncertainly on my arse. I was staring directly into his eyes, but his were occupied staring at a lower part of my face.

Before I had change to register what was happening my head slid to the left ever so slightly, my nose fell from its balance on his and my lips hit his ungracefully, my teeth bashed against his, so did my forehead, but that wasn't the main concern in my brain, the main concern was the fact that neither of those factors phased us and I was for some unknown reason full on making out with James Potter. *Groan*

His confidence clearly grew as his hold on my bum tightened and he pushed from the ground rolling us over so he was on top of me.

While all this was happening I was still having an internal battle with myself, wondering why the hell I hadn't pulled away and more importantly why was I enjoying this. But again, my brain decided my pride and want for dominance was more important.

I felt myself smile into the kiss, as I planned my next move, like a predictor I waited until he was completely occupied. My moment came as his hands began to slide up my top, I was fast, like a tiger striking its prey, I pushed against him hard rolling us over to the left again, pulling my legs up around him as I did, ready to straddle him when we hit the ground again.

But we didn't.

We hit a shelving unit, the loud clattering and the many boxes landing on us pulled us from the heated moment we were both lost in.

"What the hell was that?" The gruff voice sounded angry.

"Shit." James pulled me from the floor as I sat there frozen. He pulled me towards the gap, I was ready to jump back down it as an escape, but we didn't, he kicked the slab back over it, before turning to face me.

"Hold tight." With that he intwined his fingers through mine and just as the click of the door echoed through the room, James spun on the spot and I was pulled into the unearthly world of apperation.

"Side along apperation's no fun. It's only good when you're on your own." I pouted as we landed outside of gringotts. "I can apperate myself you don't need you to pull me with you every time."

"Did you seriously say fun?" He scoffed at me, paying no attention to my second statement. "How on earth is apperation fun?"

"It makes me feel funny, I like it." I smiled before wandering off away from him.

"Merlin I'm stuck with a loonatic." He laughed before following me.

"I'd like to go to vault 621 please." I smiled up at the goblin sat on the 3ft stool.

"Key please." I handed it over. Their voices amused me, they were strangely high pitched for such ugly creatures. He jumped down from his stool.

"Oh, wait vault 679 too please." James added hastily passing over his key."

"Very well." the goblin mumbled. "Follow me."

"Why do you need to go to your vault?" I asked in a low voice. James to my annoyance merely tapped the side of his nose and winked.

"VAULT 621." The goblin announced as the cart came to a halt.

I climbed from the cart, before entering the vault opened merely seconds before. It was fuller than last time, that's for sure. As I walked in I noticed the signature pile of canvases to my right. Everything seemed to be there, I'm sure Malachi would be happy to know I wouldn't have to get in touch with him again. I turned to leave just as a golden flash caught my eye. Turning back again I noticed the small pile of galleons in the back corner, I carefully stepped towards them. Crouching to the ground I began to count.

50

100

120

130

135.

I sighed audibly, this wouldn't even give me a flat for a month, it was evident I would be on the streets until I found a job and held it up long enough to afford rent. I guess my dreams of being a healer were good and shattered now.

James' vault was the opposite to mine. No old furniture, no tiny corner pile of galleons. No. As far as I could see there were stacks of gold coins. I didn't know whether to be in awe or feel even more depressed at my poverty. He filled his pockets with coins as I stood there limply at the entrance.

"Are we ready to go then?" He beamed again. His good mood was beginning to irritate me, since he came into the GreatHall this morning he hadn't stopped smiling. I know I sound extremely morbid at the fact that other people's happiness irritates me, but I'm in no situation to be happy about, he knows that yet he's happy as Larry.

Maybe he's just like this the day after he gets laid?

"Yes." I whispered looking to the floor, showing my depression in a hope to dampen his mood. No such luck.

"Right, lets go then!"

And we did, we went first to Florean Fortescue's Ice Cream Parlour but I refused ice-cream because I had no money. Then we went to Brews and Stews Cafe, but I wouldn't let James buy me a drink. I could tell he was getting frustrated, but I was annoyed. Admittedly my reasoning was petty, extremely petty but I still found it annoying. I refused James any chances to show he had money and I didn't. Finally after a while we ended up In the Leakey Cauldron, sat in a booth James sipping his butterbeer silently across from me, too frightened that if he speaks I'll snap, which I had many times in the past few hours.

"Wondered why you weren't drinking anything Cas?" Tom hobbled towards us, the drink in his hand spilling after every step he took, I didn't notify him though, I didn't take much notice of him at all really.

"It's on the house for you" he coughed as he set it on the table, I just mumbled a thanks not taking my eyes off the speck of dusk about 4cm away from James' tankard.

"Not seen your dad for a while, how is he?" James choked on his drink after Tom broke the silence.

"He's dead to me." I deadpanned barely opening my mouth, still keeping my focus on the speck of dust. No one replied, and the silence was getting to me, so I decided enough was enough for the day and I was happy to go to my bed.

"Right well, I've accomplished what I needed to, I now know I'm poor so, I'm done." I began babbling on about how I had finished as I stood from the table. "Right."

"Wait Cassie." But I had already span on the spot the basement of the sweet shop in my mind.

"Oi what are you doing In here!" The minute I hit the ground I regretted it, my eyes widened for a second as they locked with the shop keepers before I span again the small damp space below my feet in mind.

"Oww." I winced as my head hit the stone slab above me in an attempt to crouch down.

"Lumos" I whispered, lighting my wand before creeping along the muddy corridor that stretched before me.

This wasn't how I'd planned my first full day of being 18, I'd hoped to lie by the black lake in the end of summer sun, with a book and some music to keep me company. Maybe I'd even sit with the gang at a meal time to show my maturity, but I hadn't planned to spend it feeling dismal and disappointed at my father's disowning of me, whilst crawling through muddy, underground tunnels on my own after being shown up by the wealth of James Potter.


	6. No, Don't!

It was strange how after 3 days of getting on really well with someone, everything could just go back to how it was before, without a hint of any of the secrets told or the shoulders cried on, not even the mutual love for a lighter. I didn't think much of it; honestly I was happier with my own company and the ineffective insults returning to normal. I had a lot of things to figure out so my short lived friendship with James Potter barely entered my thoughts. I hadn't seen or spoke to him alone in over two months, not including a couple of questions asked either way for homework, but it didn't bother me, he was back to his self-loving arrogant attire the one I disliked. Those 3 days and the odd afternoon in the first month of term, it was like he wasn't James, obviously he was but he showed a completely different side to him, he'd acted like he cared, he'd helped be out, now if I dropped my books he'd walk past sniggering to himself.

The morning after we'd got back from Diagon Alley, I started a new morning routine. I didn't have the money to subscribe to the daily prophet, but that wasn't an issue considering Izzy had had it sent to her since 1st year. Every morning since that day I had circled any flats to rent or co-accommodation that I could find then spent the evenings contacting the landlords and property owners in hope I could pay them 50 galleons just for the Christmas break. Professor Shacklebolt had made an announcement at the beginning of November to say letters had been sent out to parents and guardians to inform them that Hogwarts was off limits for students to stay over the Christmas period; apparently some big ministry meeting was taking place about the up rise of dark magic in the Middle East. Admittedly the Professor only told us of the meeting, I heard about the topic of the meeting through school rumours, so for all I know it could be about Percy Weasley's missing teddy bear. At the end of breakfast every morning, I coaxed the paper from Izzy before taking it to the library to start my circling, I hadn't told anyone that my oh-so-loving father had kicked me out, it wasn't their burden and I refused to give my friends more to worry about. I know my life would be a lot easier if I did tell them considering it would probably give me a place to stay over the holidays instead of my unhealthy plans to sleep in the shrieking shack, but I was too stubborn.

The 6th of December wasn't a happy day, just looking at my timetable made me feel physically sick. Usually Thursdays were tolerable, but Professor Slughorn had ordered a full day of potions, apparently his NEWT class was lacking practice in the 'fine art of potion making.' Neither Dom nor Izzy had taken potions at NEWT considering they'd both got D's at OWL, so although I know I constantly mention my love for my own company, when a whole day of Slughorn is ahead of me, having either of my two friends would be a source of sanity to grasp at throughout the day. But obviously Merlin wasn't my biggest fan and decided to punish me in as many ways possible, oh just so you know, my lab partner for potions, much to my dismay, is none other than Fred Weasley.

"Why do you hate me Cassie?"

Ignorance is bliss. Ignorance is bliss. Ignore the repetitive baffoon next to you and sanity will remain intact.  
You don't understand how much I wish Horace would catch up with modern technology and realise that 90% of Hogwarts own headphones and they are not dangerous, life threatening objects filled with dark magic.

"Shut up Freddie."

"Come on, clearly you don't have a reason if you won't tell me?" His voice was droning on and on right next to my ear, I had been in this bloody class room for less than 2 hours and I was contemplating downing the draught of death I brewed half an hour ago.

"Nope, I have no reason at all, I just don't like you. Get me some beetle wings" I looked at him expectantly. "Please." He eventually turned around flailing his arms around dramatically as he lolled his head backwards and let out a deep groan.

"You treat me like a personal slave Cassie Peters."

"I love it." I smiled smugly as I began to crush the delicate wings in the pestle. "I need water."

"I am not your whore!" Freddie suddenly screamed pointing a finger at me violently.

"Mr Weasley! There will be no language like that within my classroom. 10 points from Gryffindor and if you act with such idiocy again I will send you out of this class and you will begin your route to failure! Do you understand?" Slughorn suddenly erupted from his seat at the front, viciously stalking towards our desk with every word.

"No, I do not understand professor. I love acting idiotic so it would be stupid of you to keep me in this class now." Freddie began twisting one of his many curls around his finger in an attempt to imitate an innocent school girl. Seriously, why was I given the imbeciles as partners? Did I give off some vibe that screamed 'throw all un-intelligible beings towards me! I don't care if they lack human traits and act more like monkeys than anything else.'  
I just shook my head as Fred continued his argument against the point of this extra class, and began to stir the luminous liquid bubbling in the cauldron beneath me.

Potions is the worst subject for stereotyping witches. I mean, in any muggle stories about the 'make believe' witches and wizards of the world, witches are directly associated with making potions and cackling over a cauldron. If I was a muggle I wouldn't think 'A witch! Oh god they're going to use Arithmancy.' I'd think of a green, old woman with a pointy hat and a wart on her nose throwing rats into a big pot.

Once Horace had let us leave, which thankfully he did after lunch, I set to my 76th night of sending letters off to the very few un-repeated offers for homes to live in for 2 weeks. I knew it was pretty pointless considering every time I got a response, it was telling me I was ridiculous and should 'jog on' that is if they responded at all. By the time most of my letters had been written it was 7 o'clock, and the night had fallen considering the sun set at about 6 this time of year. I hadn't changed out of my school robes since my potions intervention finished, I saw it as pointless considering it was freezing on the astronomy tower – where I was sat – and they were my warmest robes. I did look like a bit of a fool walking through the school and passing all the students in their own clothes or pyjamas in some cases. I did, after a few funny looks, finally get to the owlary and send my letters off with one of the schools owls though. When I have money I shall invest in an owl of my own, right now Hogwart's owls will have to do.  
I then proceeded to have an internal, emotional breakdown. I lay on one of the many beams within the shit filled building, staring up at a small gap in between a wooden slat, if I squinted enough I could just about make out a star in the never ending dark sky. I always wondered why people found the night sky peaceful yet named black as an evil colour like black magic or constantly called darkness an enemy, it made no sense. I must have lay there for a good two hours, just wondering if there was any point any more, all factors were against me:

- My paternal family had pretty much abandoned me, I'm not joking Phoebe won't even look at me when she walks past the same goes for Robbie and Aiden, I hadn't been in touch with Nathan yet, I was way too worried that he'd react the same way instead of backing me up like I had hoped.

- All of my pleas for shelter over Christmas had been laughed at and rejected.

- I was a stubborn bitch and really didn't want to involve anyone in my problems resulting in the loss of a friendly home to shelter in over Christmas.

- I had 2 friends.

-I didn't have, and at this rate will never have, a boyfriend.

-I had less than 150 galleons to my name.

-Potter was being an arrogant bastard once again, and I had been stupid enough to tell him my secrets and then, for some drunken reason, slept with him.

-I was running out of cigarettes, and my new found celibacy meant I couldn't coax any from Mark? Mike? Martin?

-I didn't have an owl.

So yes, life really did suck at the moment.

Usually I found my bed extremely comfy, but today for some reason I didn't. My body was throwing everything at me to get me out of bed, first it decided I needed to pee, then after I ignored that feeling it decided I was craving watermelon, of all things why watermelon? Then when I turned over for a third time in an attempt to fall back into my dreams, my stomach decided "Hey Cassie, you're gonna throw up now!" so In a mad dash to the bathroom, I tripped over at least two people's trunks as well as standing on a plug, so all in all whilst splayed across the bathroom floor hugging the porcelain toilet, my knees, toes, feet, head and stomach were in pain.

After a good half an hour of spewing my guts up – yes you take that mental image and imagine going through it, it's not nice! – I showered and began to tidy myself up. Luckily this all happened at 5:30am therefore no one was awake in the dorm thus I kept my spontaneous vomiting to myself. I must admit, Dom and Izzy were surprised by my awoken body at 7am, they were both pretty organised people, they woke at 7:00 every morning and went down to breakfast at 8, and as they left, this was my usual que to roll out of bed in a tangle of limbs and duvets.

"Why are you up so early?" Dom interrogated the second she noticed me sat on my four poster, fully dressed. "Did you sleep in someone else's dorm last night and they kicked you out really early?"

"How could you ask that?" I gasped fakely "You know of my new found celibacy."

"Lies!"

"I had a shower; I felt the need to feel clean on such a wonderful Thursday morning. Stop accusing me of being a slut." I pouted. "I'm going to breakfast." I paused dramatically before sticking my tongue out childishly "Without...you!"

I then proceeded to skip out of the dorm, to keep up the image of me being extremely happy and not feeling like I might pass out with nausea at any moment. Half way down the stairs I dropped my forced smile and instinctively grabbed my stomach in hope it would suppress the churning. As I neared the last step I noticed the presence of the 7th year Gryffindor boys on the couch, I sighed realising I should probably make myself look less pained as James and Freddie would both report back to Dom in hope they would hear some gossip about me dying or something, I don't know they're mean they like things like that.

"Potter." I nodded pointedly.

"Peters." He replied in an equally indifferent voice. "Earliest I've seen the beast awaken." He mocked smirking as he presented his insult. They were all looking at me expectantly, were they expecting me to give an explanation?

"I want watermelon." The words tumbled from my mouth, that wasn't what I was saying in my head I'm sure I was about to explain that I was going to breakfast however the watermelon thing was true.

"Right, okay then." Fred answered as the rest of them just stared at me weirdly I felt like I was in a zoo, being stared at by by-passers as they pointed fun at the poor little leopard with a messy tuft of hair on her head.

I refused to entertain them any longer so I merely turned ungracefully on the spot and sauntered out of the portrait hole. I did direct myself towards the Great Hall to begin with, then as I began to wonder about the foods to soon be presented to me, I realised they never had watermelon at breakfast. This sudden realisation hit me like a brick wall, and suddenly nausea was no longer the only feeling I was experiencing, I honestly felt emotional about the lack of watermelon at breakfast. What the hell was wrong with me? I had severe issues. The Great Hall's lack of watermelon steered me in the direction of the kitchens, my place of solitude.

"Miss Cassie! What can Miss Cassie be gotten?" House elves swarmed you as soon as you entered this place, seriously you couldn't get three steps through the door before you were jumped by them.

"Hey Twinkie, do you have watermelon?" I asked hopefully.

"Of course Twinkie has watermelon; she will get Miss Cassie watermelon right away." Her jam-jar sized eyes stared up at me for another second before she scurried off in the direction of the fridge. I threw myself on to the nearest table and rested my head upon it, my hands still supporting my abdomen as another wave of sickness hit me. I moaned audible, I was angry at my stomach, I was angry at the idea of being ill, I was angry at my Dad and at my Mother for being a stupid slut, I was angry at everything and everyone around me. When Twinkie brought me a plate full of watermelon, I merely mumbled my thanks before rudely shooing her away; I couldn't cope with being suffocated by questions from a house elf today. I didn't lift my head from the table as I ate the melon; I merely turned my head to the side so I could bite it without my forehead colliding painfully with the wood. I was drowning my sorrows in watermelon, who'd have thought?

"You weren't lying." Someone half-heartedly laughed from behind me, I knew who it was and I didn't want to acknowledge their presence right now. Honestly, I didn't want to acknowledge anyone right now.

"Hmm." I sighed before taking another bite of watermelon. Sweet, sweet watermelon.

"What's up with you?"

"n'in"

"What?"

"Nothing." I stretched the word, adding a sharp tone to it in hope he'd get the picture and leave me be.

"Doesn't look like nothing." I immediately dropped my hand from my stomach in hope he hadn't noticed I was cradling it. "Do you want me to take you to Pomfrey?" I sat bolt upright, my head regretting it as it pounded violently.

"No, I'm fine." I spat.

"Merlin Cassie you're pale as fuck." He actually looked taken aback; did I honestly look that ghastly?

"I'm fine James." I said sharply, I went to stand up and leave but the bastard pushed me right back into my seat. "I have a little stomach ache, it'll go by tomorrow, if it doesn't and I'm dead next week, well... I guess I'll regret leaving right now." I shrugged his hand off my shoulder and stormed out with as much energy I had, which wasn't much considering I had to lean against a wall the second I left the kitchens.

The stomach pain did eventually go and the urge to throw up ended before lunch. I felt pretty peachy for the rest of the day, admittedly I'm not sure whether that was down to my lack of illness or the fact that I only had one lesson of charms after lunch and the rest was free periods.

It was only the morning after, when I was yet again lay on the floor hugging the toilet – this time I wasn't lucky enough for it to be before Dom woke – that I realised I didn't have one cigarette all day.

"Cassie, are you feeling any better?" Dom was sat beside me force feeding me glasses of water. "Are you sure you're not hung-over?"

"You have to have drank alcohol to have a hangover Dom. I went to bed before you last night." I groaned as she pushed the glass of water harder against my teeth.

"What do you think it is?" Izzy chipped in from her position against the door.

"I think its tobacco withdrawal. I haven't had a fag in nearly 48hours." I moaned before yet again turned to empty my stomach contents. "Or maybe food poisoning."

"You have to be ill for more than 2 hours to have food poisoning Cas." Dom huffed.

"Well I did spend half an hour vomiting yesterday morning too." They both threw me daggers in sequence with each other. They had scary death stares, but they had nothing on mine.

"You could have said!"

"Just see how you are later, and if you still feel ill, I'll take you to Madame Pomfrey, deal?"

"Okay, I'll agree to that Iz, just stop Dom's evil staring." I laughed weakly in an attempt to lighten the mood.

As I had expected, I felt fine by lunch again, but throwing up when I woke up became a habit, and for the next three mornings it moulded its way into my routine. Every morning I spent at least half an hour in the bathroom vomiting, while Dom forced water into me and Izzy stood by the door looking at me sympathetically. I guess it was inevitable that by Monday I'd be dragged to the hospital wing by the morons I call friends. I continually protested against going whilst Dom literally pushed me down the stairs into the common room, by the time we actually got to the bottom of the stairs I pretty much collapsed against the first chair I saw.

"You're making me feel worse Dom!" I moaned the pain was that bad I actually wanted to cry. "Can't I just go back to bed until lunch; I'll be fine by lunch."

"Regretting not taking up my offer on Thursday Peters?" Potter asked snidely.

"No I'm not dead yet you moron." I grumbled, my eyes narrowed at his presence and my nostrils began to flare.

"Oh, James? Will you please take Cassie to Poppy, I can't carry her." Dom pleaded with puppy-dog-eyes.

"Sure."

"No, I'd rather crawl there thanks." I then proceeded to topple off the chair and began to crawl towards the portrait hole.

Despite many violent actions taken against James Potter mainly on my behalf until his little sister hit him over the head and told him to stop harassing girls who don't want anything to do with him – I love that girl – he did, unfortunately, carry me to the hospital wing.

"This should subside the nausea Miss Peters." Poppy smiled as she passed me a vial filled with a violet coloured substance.

"Thanks."

"Cassie, I must ask this, considering you're showing all the signs." She paused, I took this as my chance to gulp some water, that potion was disgusting. "Is there any chance you could be pregnant?" In pure shock I spat out the water I previously had in my mouth spraying it down an unfortunate Poppy.

"NO, no" I paused thinking about it "Well I don't think so." I honestly had no idea, I don't remember _that_ night, so I shouldn't give her my word that I couldn't be.

"Right, well I'll do some tests, considering you're adamant that it is food poisoning, if that comes back negative, I'm taking some pregnancy tests, okay?" She looked at me sternly, there was no point trying to argue against her, she was doing the tests whether I liked it or not. I sighed before giving her my arm. Needles never really bothered me, honestly I thought the anticipation of the signature scratch of a needle was quite an adrenaline rush.

Apparently food poisoning tests didn't take much, she literally added some substance green in to the vial that now contained my blood. As she waited she began to explain how it worked, I was interested I want to be a healer. Correction wanted, now I'm stuck in poverty.

"Well, after 2 minutes if the blood turns blue, it means you're salmonella positive, if it doesn't change then you're free of bacteria which indicates food poisoning." She shook the vial slightly. "It seems to me that food poisoning isn't the case here. Sorry Cassandra, I'm going to need some more blood." She moved to the opposite side of my bed taking the blood this time from my left arm.

"How long do we have to wait now?" I asked, I was pretty worried now, if it wasn't food poisoning and I was pretty sure I wasn't pregnant I would know if I was pregnant. Wouldn't I? Then it could be something life threatening, what if I had to go to St Mungo's, none of my family would come visit me, hell they wouldn't care if I died of some deadly disease.

"This'll take about half an hour Miss Peters. I recommend you go to lunch, you can see your friends for a while, I'll send a note once I know the results." I was unsure whether I trusted my legs to get me to the Great Hall but as usual by lunch the sickness had passed and I was feeling fine, I knew the churning in my stomach was no longer an illness it was merely nerves. I hate admitting I'm worried, it makes me feel vulnerable, but I know I couldn't deny that I was worried now.

What the hell would I do if I was pregnant? How could I be? I always take precautions, this never ever happens to me. I can't afford a child! Oh God, what if I have to abort it? No I couldn't do that, I'd put it up for adoption. Every child deserves to be loved, no one is a mistake, an accident yes, but never a mistake.

I sat on my own at the far end of the table, there were only a few pupils here so far, but I knew when Dom and Izzy got here, the place would be filled and they wouldn't expect me to be here anyway, they had no reason to look for me.  
I piled my plate with food, but I merely picked at it absent mindedly whilst staring at the teacher's table. They couldn't know, I wouldn't want any priorities if I was, that'd draw attention to me, and my condition. But what if they punished me for it, I could just imagine Professor Shacklebolt shouting at me telling me how stupid I was, oh God I don't think I could take it. I'm talking like I am pregnant I'm not, I know I'm not!

My heart beat had increased rapidly and I felt hot, I tried to calm myself down by pouring some pumpkin juice, but I couldn't keep my hand still enough to get the juice into the glass. I think this is a panic attack. I looked around me, I few people were peering at me, but their attention was soon averted after I began to bore them. The room had definitely filled up, most of the tables were packed with students all throwing food on to their plates. I was so distracted that I didn't notice the young boy stood behind me tapping my shoulder.

"Excuse me, erm, Miss Peters. Excuse me." he tapped me on the shoulder again and I span around to face him a little too fast, my head punished me by beginning to beat in time with my rapid heart. "Madame Pomfrey wanted me to give this to you." He smiled before passing me a folded piece of parchment. I don't know why I didn't leave before I opened it, I think the anticipation was slowly killing me. My fingers trembling I began to prize the note from its folded state. And then I stared.

_Cassandra,_

_The tests came back positive. Please come to the hospital wing as soon as you can, I have set up an ultra sound for you._

_Don't panic._

_Madame Pomfrey.  
_

I don't know which emotion hit me first, there was a bundle of them thrown right into my chest. I began to cry as I crumpled up the parchment in my fist, now I had the unwanted attention of my fellow students. Next was dread, still crying I began to question everything, hyperventilating another panic attack ensued. And then, Anger.

I pushed myself up from my seat and began to frantically search the Gryffindor table. My eyes finally found my target and I set on my mission. Still crying and rage taking over my whole body, I began to stalk towards my victim's where abouts at the middle of the table. I knew right now I looked extremely unattractive, my face was blotchy, red from a mix of anger and tear stains.

"Cas, Merlin what's wrong?" Dom, was on the opposite side of the table looking at me worriedly but I ignored her.

Impulsively I lunged towards him grabbing him by the collar, my plan was to pull him from the bench, but I figure I couldn't do that even if I was at my full strength, so screaming I pushed his head forward violently.

"THIS IS YOUR ENTIRE FAULT!" I assaulted him with a fist to the head.

"HOW COULD YOU DO THIS TO ME!" hitting him again.

"YOU BASTARD! I HATE YOU, I HATE YOU, I HATE YOU!" I knew I was drawing attention to myself now, but I had to let my anger out on him. It was his fault, he had done this to me. James finally turned as I stopped for a second attempting to control my sobbing.

"What the hell?" he asked shocked, he stood up and walked towards me trying to comfort me.

"DON'T TOUCH ME!" I screeched, my breathing becoming increasingly heavy as I tried to back away. Dom and Izzy were both sat at shell shocked at the scene unravelling in front of them, the whole hall was silent, watching in shock.

"Cassie..." I swung my arm forward and slapped James Potter on the face, the crack of it echoed through the hall. I then turned to run, forgetting that the scrunched up note was in my hand throughout my violent assault was my worst move yet. I turn one last time before I left the hall, to witness James unfolding the crumpled parchment, in disbelief I looked down at my palms hoping it would still be there. It wasn't

"James! No, don't!" I shouted alarmed. But his face told me I was too late.


	7. You can't plan the future

By the time I made it to the hospital wing I was hysterical. My face was glowing red, a mix of exhaustion, from running away from prying eyes, and tear stains. I pushed dramatically against the doors and fell into the bed-lined corridor, my breathing shallow and fast, uncontrollable sobs escaping as I tried to calm myself down. I fell into a heap on the floor and burst into a flood of tears again.

"Oh Miss Cassie, calm down dear, it's all okay." Madame Pomfrey came rushing towards my position on the floor in front of the doors. Kneeling down she put a comforting hand on my shoulder and began to hush me gently. Finally coaxing me from the ground, she led me to a bed at the back of the room. It was surrounded by a floating curtain to keep it private, at the side of the bed stood a screen. At the scene my heart began to beat viciously against my ribs, the idea of an ultrasound made the whole thing real, too real.

"There ha-has t-to be a mis-mistake." I stuttered through my laboured breaths. "I can't have a b-baby, I-I'm not-not ready."

"Cassie dear, everything will be fine. You have options. You don't have to have the baby you c-"

"No!" I cut in. "I'm not killing a baby." My voice suddenly confident with its protests.

"Okay, well that's one option ruled out. If you really don't want the baby Cassie, there's always adoption."

I merely nodded, noting to myself that it was something to think about, however I pushed it to the back of mind once I was lay down. Poppy pulled up the hem of my shirt so that my stomach was visible.

"This may tickle." With that warning, she whispered an incantation and hovered her wand above my belly. I kept my eyes closed, not wanting to make this nightmare reality. "Cassie, there's your baby." As much as I didn't want to, I took a deep breath before opening my eyes and turning towards the screen.

It wasn't much, if I had seen it without being told it way my baby, I'd probably describe it as a grey blob. It was a light great blob, in the shape of a lumpy crescent moon, on a dark grey background. But being told that that grey blob is your child changes your perspective of it completely. It captured my attention for a good ten minutes as I watched the pulse of its heartbeat in the middle of the blob.

Poppy finally pulled her wand away and the picture disappeared. My head shot up to stare at her annoyed, I wasn't ready for the picture to go, but she merely smiled down at me her eyes full of empathy as she turned and pulled out a small sheet of card and passed it to me. It was the scan, the blip of the heartbeat, the slight rocking of the blob. Instinctively I smiled down at the picture. My mind was now even more confused I really didn't know what to do, I had future plans, my education was everything to me, surely this would effect it? Could I even stay at Hogwarts?

"You can't tell anyone!" I blurted out suddenly. "I don't want anyone to know."

"You won't be able to hide it forever, and it will be a lot easier if your teachers knew Cassie, but until you're visibly pregnant, I suppose we can keep it to ourselves." Her smile was warm and reassuring. "You should tell the father though."

I bit my lip nervously and looked away from her. "I- I think he already knows." I mumbled in a barely-audible whisper.

"You've already told him?" She asked, obviously shocked.

"I didn't mean to, I dropped the note and he- he picked it up."

"Well at least you don't have to tell him now." She chuckled trying to lighten my mood, I smiled back weakly.

"I guess I shoul-"

"Cassie!" An exasperated call came from the entrance of the hospital wing, I shuffled off the bed, but stayed within the safety of the curtains, the scan clutched to my chest. "Cassie. Cas, I need to talk to you." The sound of drawing curtains echoed through the room, James was clearly searching every bed for me. I sat there silently. Poppy turned to look at me, a smirk playing on her lips as she raised her eyebrows at me. I looked away embarrassed, but managed to catch her wink before she pulled back the curtain and walked away from me.

"Mr Potter, I would appreciate if you kept your voice down, and stopped trashing my ward."

"Poppy!" He exclaimed enthusiastically. "I need to speak to Cassie, is she okay? Where is she? Does she hate me? Oh Merlin." He was breathing heavily, he sounded more frantic than I had.

"James. Calm down, Cassie is with me at the moment." She paused "JAMES! Sit down, stop! Just calm down, okay? Cassie is shocked, I can clearly see you are too so just sit down and take some deep breaths." As much as Poppy was trying to sound soothing, her inner frustration with James' persistence was obvious.

"I want to see her. I need to see her, we need to talk." There was a moment of silence, lasting for more than a minute my nosey personality decided to lead me out from behind the curtain. James and Poppy were sat on a bed 4 down from where I stood; they both had their heads bent low and were talking in hushed voices to one another. James was supporting his face with his hands and honestly he looked distraught. That's when it hit me. He didn't want this as much as I didn't. What if he wanted me to have an abortion? I bet he hated the idea that _I_ was carrying his first child. I bet he hated me. What if I decided I wanted the baby? Could I, if he didn't want it?  
My head began spinning, I closed my eyes in hope it was lessen the strain on my brain. It didn't more choices, more decisions, more options; I grabbed the sides of my head in agony wincing at the pain.

"Cassie?" Much to my surprise, James' voice was soft as he noticed my presence.

"I'm so sorry James. I'm really sorry." I blurted. I wasn't sure why I was apologising, but I felt like I had to, like I had done something wrong. I probably had, this was a big burden to put on someone's shoulders especially when I refused the easy way out. I began to cry again, wiping furiously at my eyes and subconsciously scolding myself for being so emotional.

I stood there, trying to stifle my sobs, staring at my shoes, waiting to be screamed at by James. But no punishing scream followed. Nothing followed, I just stood there, my head hung in shame for at least 2 minutes my heart beat was loud in my ears.

"I'm sorry." I whispered through a strangled sob once the silence was too much for me to bear.

Two strong arms encircled me and pulled me forward, I was indulged in warmth and the smell of coffee, rain and burning wood. It was a combination of luxury; I'd never noticed how nice James smelt before, probably because it wasn't the most acceptable thing to do – smell someone.

I began to repeatedly mumble my apology into James' chest, my arms still hanging limply by my sides and tears still spilling down my cheeks.

"Shhh." He hummed, rocking me in his arms ever so slightly. He planned a feather-light kiss on top of my head before pulling me away from the warmth of his torso. His hands clasped onto my upper arms as he bent slightly. His eyes were staring directly into mine as he brought himself down to equal my height. "Stop apologising Cas. None of this is your fault, d'you hear me? None of it." The stern look in his eyes advised me not to argue with him, I didn't feel like arguing, I felt like curling up into a ball on my bed and never moving. I nodded my head apologetically before staring at my feet again. "I'm going to take you back to your dorm okay? And you can tell Dom and she'll look after you."

My head shot up. "I can't tell Dom. I'm not telling anybody." I stated directly.

"After you screamed at me, punched me hit me and stormed out of the great hall, you think people aren't going to ask questions?"

"Well you tell them I have food poisoning until I want to tell them okay?" my eyebrows furrowed sternly.

"That doesn't explain the hitting."

"You gave me a pumpkin pasty that was off, and it gave me food poisoning I blamed you and went mad because I keep throwing up."

"Fine. But believe me, no one will believe that Cassie."

"Well they're gonna have to aren't they?" my temper was rising as he tried to argue with everything I said. "You're not telling anybody I'm pregnant. No one, you know, I know and Poppy knows that's it, no one else." With that final order I pushed passed his shoulder and left the hospital wing.

James wasn't entirely wrong. After getting to my dorm, I spent at least an hour trying to convince Dom that I had food poisoning; every question she asked was difficult to link to a reason why I would have food poisoning. James' involvement especially, my excuse that Madame Pomfrey could determine what and when the Poisoning occurred, was the most difficult to explain, well make up an explanation for, but I managed it eventually. I'd almost convinced her when she asked why I didn't want James to read the note. I stumbled on that, before deciding that I felt bad for blaming him so much and thought if he didn't see the note he wouldn't ask and we'd carry on as normal. By normal I meant the constant bickering and wanting to strangle each other when within a 20meter radius of the other. Finally, she admitted defeat and believed me, but I think that was because she was hungry and wasn't willing to carry the argument without food.

Once Dinner was over, I took a trip to the astronomy tower, Madame Pomfrey had excused me from lessons for today and tomorrow, and as everyone else would be in lessons tomorrow, therefore would be doing homework and getting ready for bed, I knew I'd get some time on my own up there. The cold winter air welcomed me, a gust of wind raced through my tangled hair the minute I opened the door, it was nice it was what I needed. The fresh air refreshed me, it helped me think.

"Penny for your thoughts?" his rough, husky voice ran through me, Goosebumps surfacing from the sound of his voice.

"What d'you want James?" I sighed as I pulled out a pack of cigarettes; my week run of no smoking would have to be abandoned, I needed a relief for my stress."

"What do you think you're doing?" He asked sharply, pulling the dangling cigarette from my lips before I could even pull my lighter out.

"What do you think _you're_ doing?" I asked angrily as I stretched my arm up trying to grab my cigarette from his hand.

"You can't smoke."

"you can't tell me what to do!" I retaliated.

"Yes, I can." He scoffed moving his hand out of reach.

"No you can't asshole. Give me it back." I tried to pull myself to my feet.

"I won't let you smoke Cassie."

"You never cared, anyway you smoke hypocrite."

"You're carrying my baby. You're not smoking while you're pregnant. End of discussion." He then threw the cigarette off the astronomy tower.

Honestly, I'd completely forgotten for a fleeting moment. I was back to last week, when I had no issues, I wasn't ill or pregnant and I could smoke if I wanted, I could sit alone on the astronomy tower and do what the hell I wanted.

"Oh." The realisation of how much my life was going to change was unwelcomed.

"We need to talk about this Cassie."

"We don't need to talk about anything James. Just-just leave me alone, okay?" I then turned with a final sigh and left the beloved outdoors feeling that surrounded me up there on the astronomy tower.

I would have been thankful of the lie-in considering I had no classes today; however my body had different ideas, especially when concerning morning sickness. It was at least past 9am, which I guess made it slightly better, I was alone, everyone had left for class so I didn't have to hide the fact that I was dying in the bathroom, like I was going to for the next month at least.  
I lay on my bed for a while, my hand resting delicately on my stomach, the other holding the scan. I knew I couldn't stay on the streets over Christmas, not now that I had two lives to consider. I thought about contacting Nathan, but I really couldn't face him now I'd fucked my life up with a baby. Dom was completely out of the picture now, so was Izzy I refused to let them know I was pregnant and after 2 weeks of throwing up every morning, I highly doubt my 'food poisoning' story will work. So I decided to spend the day looking through the library for some form of accommodation.

Too expensive.  
No.  
No.  
No students.  
Too expensive.  
No short term accommodation.  
No.  
No.  
Closed over Christmas period.

"What are you looking at?"

"I told you to leave me alone."

"When have I ever done what you've asked?" James chuckled.

"I'm not smoking James, leave me alone." I didn't once turn to look at him as I spoke into my pile of books and newspapers.

"Hotels? Why are you looking at hotels?"

"None of your business." I snapped grinding my teeth in irritation.

"I thought you were staying with Dom for Christmas." He said abruptly. "Why would you be looking at hotels if you're staying with Dom?"

"Because I'm not staying with Dom." I sighed.

"You told me you'd ask her, you told me you'd find somewhere to stay."

"Well I didn't, okay?" I barked turning to face him finally. "I didn't ask because I don't want her to know I've been kicked out, I don't want anyone to know, I don't want people to share my problems, they're_ my_ problems, no one else's. _Mine!"_

"What? So you're just going to stay in a dingy hotel over Christmas on your own because you're too proud to admit you need someone's help?" He yelled back.

"I am not _too proud_! I just don't want people to have to deal with something that they don't need to, okay? I'm sorry that I don't lay all of my issues on the table for people to take their pick."

"I'm not stupid Cassie, and I'm not blind. You barely have any money. How the hell are you going to afford any where for 2 weeks?"

"I'm not, okay. I have nowhere to go. I have nothing left, my life is completely fucked up, and you yelling it in my face really isn't helping so fuck off and throw someone else's mistakes down their throat!" I slammed the last book I was reading shut dramatically whilst staring him down fiercely. "I told you to fuck off!"

"When have I ever done what you've asked?" He smirked. He infuriated me so much, you don't understand I have to literally bite my tongue to prevent myself from blowing up at him, and hold on to objects to avoid punching the boy. "I have something I have to do anyway. So see'ya later Cas."

It was the 15th of December. I had 3 days left until the Hogwarts express left Hogsmead station, and I still had nowhere to stay. I was at my wits end; I stayed up every night until 11 looking through every possible book and article that would mention accommodation, too be woken up by morning sickness at half 8 every morning. I was exhausted. Poppy had excused me from first lesson until my sickness died down, and thankfully she had explained it as food poisoning to my professors, so I still didn't have to explain to Dom or Izzy why I threw up every morning considering I woke up after they left.

I'd avoided Potter as much as I possibly could in the last week, every other day he had cornered me asking if we could talk about 'the situation' which he referred to it as. I had declined his plead to 'talk it out' every time, but admittedly I was starting to feel selfish. James was a part of this as much as I was, it was his baby as much as it was mine, and considering he was making the effort to show that he wanted to talk about it, clearly he was more interested in the baby than I was and I was reminded of that every morning.

Unfortunately today was the day that Potter cornered me somewhere I could not just walk away from. I was sat by the lake in the snow, I had about 7 layers of clothes on and I was watching the younger students ice skating on the frozen water over the other side.

"Cassie, I have a proposal." I span around to face him my eyes wide with horror.

"Woah no. Just 'because I'm pregnant, I am still not marrying you." I said before he could even think about it.

"What? No a proposal, I'm not proposing." James corrected himself quickly and I think the tension in my neck relieved a bit. "I'm offering you a place to stay for Christmas."

"With you?" I asked startled by his offer.

"Well yeah." He reached his hand over his shoulder and began to rub the back of his neck, a nervous habit of his I'd noticed lately. "I asked my Dad if I could bring a friend back for Christmas, after I saw you in the library. He gave me the okay, and I've been trying to ask you all week but you're avoiding me."

"Thanks for the offer James, but I just don't want things getting complicated, I don't think you should tell you mum and dad about 'the situation' at least not while I'm there I'd die. I'll find somewhere but thank you anyway." I smiled trying to be as polite as possible.

"Let me rephrase that." He paused. "Considering you are carrying my baby, and you have nowhere to live, you will be staying with me over Christmas, okay? Oh and no worries I won't mention 'the situation' to my parents, you can just stay as a friend."

I tried to argue back, but my attempts were feeble, and eventually I had no option but to agree to stay with him, and thank him.

"Christmas is going to be one awkward ordeal." I sighed after my defeat.

"How so?"

"Potter, we can't be civil with each other for more than 10 minutes, I'm pretty sure your parents will figure out we're barely friends pretty quick and that's without your sister or brother telling them that we have put each other in detention more times over the past 7 years than we have said hello to each other." I laughed at the idea. "I cannot believe I have resorted to staying with you over Christmas, I didn't think I was _that _desperate."

"I'd say interesting more than awkward. And who knows, you might actually talk to me about him." He added pointing to my stomach.

"Her." I corrected.

"It's a girl?" he asked excitedly.

"No clue, I want it to be though."

We lay by the lake, in the freezing temperatures for another hour, talking about everything from our favourite bertybott flavour to our future plans and how bump has already changed that. We decided to call the baby 'bump' considering I didn't want to find out the sex, and give it a month and it will be a bump. Somehow we got on really well for that hour, everything was calm I explained how I didn't want an abortion and how I guess we could put her/him up for adoption, James agreed with me mostly, but I didn't miss his frown when I said about adoption, he even asked if there was any chance we could keep bump. I merely shrugged and told him the future has its own mind you can't plan it.


End file.
